Self-Pity or Self-Care?

There is a fog in my head, 

I cannot hear or see

What my ears and eyes covey to me. 

There is a din that I hear

In the nothingness clouding my brain

Silence can be loud. Have you heard its refrain? 

There is an emptiness I so sorely feel

I see colours and yet everything feels grey

Is it the world or me that seems to be fading away? 

There is a mountain pressing my chest

It is difficult to breathe.

Exhale. Inhale. Difficult, but repeat. 

There is so much to do, my checklist awaits

Yet all I can do is write this rhyme

Complain, ironically, that I have no time. 

Yet, I regret not, these moments of self-pity

These are all that allow me to just BE. 

And find sanity in insanity, in chaos peace.

- Written on 13 Sep 2021. 

- Self-Explanatory. Am supposed to chase deadlines that I have no longer any energy for and no reason why I am so lethargic.