Reality Mirrored

Mirrors: We see ourselves, yet not
In these things that reflect light
Be it the still lake or a clear cloud or glass
We find ourselves judging our present and our past.
Yet mirrors can distort reality too
The car's rear view mirror draws objects further from you
So dangerous if we know not this perspective
It can lead to a death edict
Snow White's stepmother may have been told the truth
But mostly in mirrors we see what we want to
The most 'beautiful' person can spot a blemish or two
The 'ugly' could look beautiful too.
'Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder' 
So today even more I ponder
What does the mirror tell us
As a holiday is given for a temple constructed
Its base the ruins of a mosque
Of a line cast that had the country torn apart
In the name of God who urged peace and sacrifice
In the name of a God to whom not all ascribed
But today, God is created by us more than we by him
Hymns we sing are stories we weave to please our whims.

22 Jan holds more terror more for me than the Babri Masjid fall
With no protests, no riots, no fiery street debate wars
Then, we had fiery editorials, and more people openly appalled
That the Constitution was repelled, that divisions we spawned
Today, we keep silent wondering if to post at all
Fearing repercussions beyond hate posts or calls.
I remember us peperring our school walls against the demolition
Today, I think twice about a Facebook post expressing abhorment
I have abrogated my rights for so called safety
Economics and politics and so-called institutional duty
What the mirror tells me today, I like not
A spineless creature supposedly distraught by life fraught.

- Written on 22 Jan 2024.

- 22 Jan declared a holiday in many states and at the Central Govt level as a half day for 'Pran Pratishtan' at Ayodhya for the Ram Mandir. 

I can feel my pran slowly fading as I voice less and less of my angst and retract myself into my shell.

And yes, I know someone will take my case for wanting riots, but it is not the violence, but the of freedom of expression that I yearn for and its loss that I lament. 

There are times when I regret joining TISS full time.

Today is one of them.

I would have in the past posted my thoughts for my thoughts would not have been equated with 'my institution' and 'my institute' would not have to bear the brunt for opinions it did not endorse. At worst, I would have been disowned as 'visiting' or 'contractual' and I would have put in my papers and walked my path. 

But now I hold back. I am thinking admissions, UGC withholding pay, TISSians targetted. Somehow, my opinion being a feeder for more hate-mongering. 

And I am not able to bring myself to do anything else as somehow, viscerally, I feel incapacitated.

I am consuming more and more and more of those who are expressing some concern, some dissent and feeling more helpless, more worthless.

As I head to Mizoram, am going to retreat into my shell. Hopefully, the mountains will revive my faith in the larger play of things and in humanity and secularism and such.

For now I share this here when I would have felt better sharing on a more public platform. I feel like Alice but in Orwellian dystopia. 

https://anuthik.blogspot.com/2024/01/reality-mirrored.html

The Temple of Despair - 2024

A temple stands on ruins
Unity in diversity undermined.
A structure built worth crores
Holidays declared worth even more.
Who worships whom and what, one know not,
But these are not the values we were ever taught.
Pride in oneself, one's customs, yes, but never at other's cost.
If we care not for each other, we are the ones lost.
But temples are espoused, politics and religion forged anew,
Truth lies in shards, all contrary opinions subdued.
My country, my pride, my brethren, I cry
Every day I speak dulcetly, while demanding not my own but others' sacrifice.
Understanding they should be, I cry in sympathy,
As if that were enough, these tokenism paltry.
No action, nothing concrete, no placing my neck on the line,
No courting jail or worse, no nothing, but some futile lines written in rhyme.

- Written on 20 Jan 2024

- Ram Mandir in Ayodhya. 22 Jan declared holiday in many states and at Central Govt level half day for 'Pran Pratishtan'. 

My heart bleeds. 

Mansfield Park - Revisiting Jane Austen - 1

Dear M, 

Such a wonderful initiative. 

What I would like to revisit of Jane Austen's works? Everything!!! 

But let us go with Mansfield Park. 

In this day and age the morality bespoke
In the novel is neither some nor whole 😁😜
The ideas seem frivolous, 
The characters worthless, 
The adultery, the clergy, 
The exaggerated bucolic pastorality, 
All seem to echo 
Mansfield Park is not even worth as retro. 
Yet, something beckons, even if for just the lines
That belie age and space confines
'Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, 
For there is no hope of a cure'
More such gems in the novel lie
Reading and counter reading into Mansfield Park one can still pry :)

- Written on 7 Jan 2024

- Self-Explanatory, but let us see if I keep this up. 

Silences and Reunions

Silences resonate with memories,
Of laughter, gossip, music and savouries,
Most of all of relations rekindled
Friendships strengthened as all mingled.
But memories warm the heart too
The silences make determined to again do
The meet-ups planned and those yet unchartered
May these friendships blossom unhindered.

:)

- Written on 6 Jan 2024.

- Meeting National friends after a long time

Kochi Reunion 2023-24

Family and friends
Blissful reunions
However hot a place may be
But warmth of hearts it cannot beat.

Expensive fares, long trips, filmy scenes,
Lazy lunches, loud gossip, oodles of coffee and tea,
Chinese fishing nets, short walk in crowded alleys,
Long wait at favoured cafe's, but 'Thiruvilla' rescued us on Princess Street.
Day 01 passed making merry
On plans for day 02 and a split on day 03 we agreed.

The Synagogue impressed with its handpainted tiles blue,
The story of migrants and of Palestine and India's perspective, it cast anew.
Then the long wait at Cafe Mocha
Then sightseeing at Crafters' and some shopping for 'whatnots'
Sighting the world's largest Urali
All just the first half's deeds.
Churches - Basilica and Francis inspired
The paintings on ceilings in Basilica were much admired.
The Indo-Portuguese Musuem we looked into,
But the Christmas tree outside and the peacock created more ado.
Then we split again, some for tea,
Three directly to Fort House, Kochi.
Some respite for Lata from the heat
Then bags in cars, most headed for the jetty.
A 6 rupee ride for minutes 20
Taking us through the backwaters beauty.
Then a hotel cheap and awesome,
But more preferring home wholesome 😁
Then buffet dinner too and more talking and laughing
We grouped and regrouped and re-regrouped through the day and evening.

Day 03 some 'tripped' on 'Nostalgia for Nurani'
Others found ecstacy in doing 'nothing'.
Lunches at Palaaram and Kapilavastu and purchases at Thankkam Pickles
Local shopping, temple sightseeing, 7 hours driving, each found their own moment 'blissful'.
Whether 10 seconds solving of a puzzle
Or just lying down in the hotel.

Then the highlight, 'The Birthday'
Of a girl as sweet as can be, whom we made patiently wait.
Not 1 but 2 cakes had she, and then there was the pizza party
But the highlight, the star, was the curd rice and pickles feast
Contentment oozed and no one wanted to ever leave
Antakshari went on till hours wee
Some leg pulling too choreographed by the 'wow' family 😜
Singers galore we have in this family
Bad or good, sporting all but those born on Nov 3 😝😝
But thank you speeches they made brilliantly,
At long last, we parted regretfully
The trip was short, time ran out
We wished it could be longer, but were thankful for how much we got.

We missed those who could not make it,
We planned for more future visits,
Forest trips seem to rule for now
May 2024 give us more such powwows.

Thank you All for making 2023 end and 2024 beginning so wonderful :)

- Written on 3 Jan 2024

- Family Reunion trip across Kochi, Nurani and Coimbatore from 28 Dec 2023 - 3 Jan 2024

Happy New Year - 2024 - Personal post 2

2023 you have been kind to me
Helping me reconnect with many friends and family,
Adding new experiences to my kitty,
Making me traverse the breadth of the country,
Aiding me many projects complete,
Granting me some excellent colleagues.

2023, you have been also tough on me
Health slid back and forth time a many
I felt lost and helpless with tears plenty
Unfinished projects galore,
Some completed, but at levels shallow
Feeling my teaching could have been better
Some dreams carefully woven lie tattered.

But 2023, overall I will miss you
For you made me see afresh important to-dos.
Connect with friends and family,
Travel for work but find pleasure plenty,
Take breaks, as many as you need,
Aim not for perfection, but convert words to deeds.
Goodbyes are hard, but cherish memories
Rejoice, you are blessed and reasonably healthy and happy.
Eat, dance, binge watch, make merry
And sleep, sleep, sleep.

2023, I will carry forward these lessons into 2024
In 2024, I hope I can be better, healthier, connect, improve and do more.

- Written on 1 Jan 2024.

- Self-Explanatory 

Happy New Year - 2024!

What purpose an FDP
This week had me pondering deep
How do we judge calibre and intent
To improve, to learn, to share, to implement?
What motive drives those who come?
Is it just a Mumbai Darshan?
Is TISS, its stature the main attraction?
Is it to compare oneself and find smug satisfaction?
As questions poured in on marriage, position and salary
On permanent contracts and 7th Pay Scale of UGC
Talk of collaborations, mostly meaningless, but would lend clout and credence
Condescendingly of guideship eligibility, or of anything, but the essence
Of what Practitioner Research was about and could do to bring change
How we could take this to classrooms where deep reflections would hold sway,
Of methods, of tools, but more questions on how to
Rather than selfies while writing a line or two.
Is this what we should be doing?
Lectures designed in absentia for these beings?
Straining self and health and friends and resources
To allow more space for such foolishness?
I like walking away from classrooms humbled
A thought-provoking question that had me confused
Such dialogues are what one yearns for
In academia we want ideas more
But this week has not been that kind of success
Maybe I'm kicking up a fuss, but this is what I feel, I confess.

- Idea Orginated 23 Dec 2023. Polished 31 Dec 2023.

- Written for obvious reasons :)