Friday, July 21, 2023

So tempting and its corollary

So near to tempt,
Not dark, but light intense,
Welcoming, almost healing
As one yearns, it is beckoning. 
One breath less and it will be there
Holding, comforting, leaving you no care.
No more hurting, no more burning,
Close, so close it feels, but it is soon morning. 
And one breathed enough it seems,
Still suffering, death still a relief just in dreams.
Aah! One must go on, smile, breathe,
Hurt or not, plod on, one day, some day, one will be freed.

 
 

Corollary Note

Getting well is sometimes a grim, arduous struggle.
To let go, to be unhappy or passive-regressive is not a gamble.
It lets one dive inside oneself, to get past feeble schemes. 
Breathing is both more and less challenging that it seems.
Not everything is as one in one's mind deems. 
And not everything should ever be as one dreams.
Struggles are not bad altogether,
They let you pause, reflect, your strengths realise and gather,
Your goals refine, your needs redefine,
They make you anew yourself find.

- Written (and drawn) on 20 July 2023.
- Been on a recover health journey for all of July. Damn frustrating.
- What exactly:

Well it began with rains and sinus.
Led to low BP which accompanies intense pain and meds.
Then I got a viral. That added to my misery
Then my lungs, they discovered, did not escape injury. 
So I struggle at times to breathe,
Some times are ok, some do me freak,
But am recovering worry not,
It is a familiar road I travel on.
I will take care and become better, 
It will take months, though, to properly recover.

Lose yet Stand Tall

Karm karo, phal ki iccha mat karo.
Can one really over loss not ever cry, over success not crow?
Jo hua achha hua...jo hoga accha hi hoga

I have heard this times a thousand from my appa.

But while I know, I know full well, this too shall pass
We shall work harder and get other grants,
It is tough to not think what could have been better,
Could I have worked harder, smarter, faster?

Where did I falter?
Why not this grant did we garner?
I did try hard, but was it my best?
So many people worked so hard, did I too much rest?

Even as I think this, the team stands by together
Stating the process and the learnings make us a winner.

The ones on the dais are excellent
Their pitches wonderful and very much welcome.
But we had a story to tell too,
Our need is strong too.

What next I wonder,
Even as I stand stronger, and believe it or not, taller.
Not one accusation of 'not enough'
It is humbling, touching, it chokes me up.

So thank you one and all for this specific year long journey
To have had your support, your talents, your friendship make me very lucky.

Newer paths to our goals beckon
Our time to shine brighter will arrive soon, I reckon.

- Written on 24 February 2023.
- We came third in the HCL Grant for Education and secured 25L instead of coming 1st and securing 5Cr. :(

365

365 days of you being gone,
But you still in our memories everyday live on,
So many a time as I pummel K, I turn
Expecting you egging me on to make him squirm.
Amma's room it still is,
Oh! You would have so loved to resist.
But worry not, we are not melancholy
We remember you with laughter, with glee
No more do we your shouting or beating need to flee.
Old jokes, your quips for even new incidents crop naturally
Your birthmate told me today you are watching over us
Don't Amma, you go live your new 'life' to the fullest.
We are good. We have many moments treasured
We are good, for you made sure we were for you to back us.

365 days of freedom
Hope you are enjoying your journey to the brim.

- Written on 20 April 2023.
- Self-explanatory. 





Happy Women's Day!

Happy Women's Day!

My other annual diatribe/wish/ditty follows :) 

In 2023, we still fight for equality. 
Gender and sex are still conflated constantly. 
Being a woman is celebrated, 
With praises women are validated. 
But the qualities ascribed still smack of patriarchy:
Giving, loving, multi-tasking, filial piety,... 
The list goes on with nowhere a respite
For women to take rest and not achieve a greater height.

So this my wish for this Women's Day
Be contrary as you will: be worldly, be fey. 
Rest, take care, let your soul revel and quench its thirst. 
Family, friends, colleagues - they matter, but let not your own wants burst.
Focusing on oneself is not being selfish,
Relax, kickback and the world will still revolve, promise.
We are not perfect and we need NOT be
Humans are born with frailties.

So to the Tomboy - find a tree, a mountain to climb. 
The Boss - to rip into someone may you reasons find. 
The docile - serve, if that pleases you. 
The rebel - fight, your cause becomes you. 
The soldier - become stronger and better. 
The artist - may creativity and recognition accompany forever.
The homeless - may you find comfort and safety. 
The single - may independence and solitude help you your goals achieve. 
The mother - may you find some quiet and peace. 
The Discovering-self woman - know that we are all with you in this journey. 

Whoever you are, whoever you become, 
Find peace with self for that's the essence of being human. 
Being true to yourself, not putting on a facade, 
Will make everyday a blessing for us all. 

Happy Women's Day, today and everyday!

A Happy Day to Everyone, for no one gender or sex should really walk alone.

- Written on 8 March 2023.
- Self-explanatory.