Remembering Patti

I remember

The times you took me to dance class at 9:30
The times you made me by heart till 30 times 30
The times you beat me at skipping and badminton and TT
The times you pushed me to relish whatever I was to eat
The times you served me my favorite savories with tea
The times you made keeraimashiayal or some other less liked curry
The times you told stories of people I may, unfortunately, never know
The times you pinched me, for reasons I always felt were hollow
The times you ordered me to follow customs and traditions
The times you graciously bowed before my superior arguments
The times you humbled me with your thirst for knowledge
The times you awed me with your unstinting courage
The times you horrified me with your penchant for hard work and your dedication
The times you terrorized me with your demands for perfection
The times you exercised even if you retired late at night
The times you never shut me up if it was only your brains I fried
The times you would listen to, and abide by, what I had to say
The times you would do the contrary and then expect me to obey!
The times you allowed me my freedom of expression
The times when you hurt me with your criticism
The times of working and the fun and games
The times of scolding and (mostly faint) praise.

I remember
All the times of mutual exasperation
All the times of mutual affection

I remember and I write this rhyme
As I realize that you are lost to me in real time.
But you live on Patti
In my memory.

I know my memories of you are different
From those of your other grandchildren.
I am proud that I knew you separately, uniquely.
I hope I live up to the good qualities you inspired in me.

I wish you peace and happiness in your new journey.
I want you to know that your memory will be cherished by so many.


- Written on 23 August 2007
- My grandmother expired yesterday.
- It came to me in the middle of the night as thoughts, memories flashed past my closed eyes.
- I do not regret that she died. I know she would have wished it herself. I am glad her eyes could be donated. I am sure she would have haunted us if not. She had a strong social conscience that were at times not in step with the times we inhabited.
- There were so many times I have fought with her, hated her even. But so many other times when I have admired her. Her dedication to causes, even if I considered them lost, was admirable. Her unquenchable thirst for knowledge and her rather intimidating enthusiasm for hard work are qualities that I have always admired even if the latter is something I do not even wish to emulate. :)

- For Patti

I wish you, Patti, a new journey
That, too, allows you your cherished dignity
I wish you people who might obey
And follow what you ardently feel is the right way.
But hold your glee, for there might be
Some who remind you of me.