Painting-Poesy #4

When someone makes mistakes

And is apologetic and daily self flagellates,

Refusing to move on,

Pacifying, cajoling, remonstrating begins to weigh upon.

Walking away is an option

But then the someone will cling further to the notion

That a mistake made is still unforgiven

The payment for it will last across this generation! 

Guilt is a cover that can shroud

Not just the repentant but those around.

Not that one should not feel sorry

But one mistake cannot be one's only misery! 

As we grow we make many

We learn, we repent, we forgive, we forge towards glory,

But if we wallow, stay rooted in the past,

Those loved ones around may not last.

Children are whom I look to for life lessons

So many mistakes, some tears, some smiles and all is forgiven.

While mistakes are at times repeated, progress is constant,

Each milestone is greeted by children exultant.

Look forward, not back,

Stop apologising, give back,

Mistakes do not define one

Efforts to improve make life fun.

#Guilt #Counselling #LearningFromMistakes #Forgiveness #SelfLove #BeingHuman

- Written on 16 June 2019 and Created on 6 April 2019.

- Posted on Instagram and Facebook. 

- Self-explanatory.

Painting-Poesy #3

Today, a slightly emotionally tough day, 

The first choice was always the dark side of the palatte. 

The conscious effort to choose lighter shades

Does not mean that sorrow fades,

But the end result indicates

There is light that might yet hold sway. 

In the darkest hours, the silver lining

Is not the cloud's rim, but faith in our hearts shining.

May like free birds we all fly high,

May like nature's bounty we all give joy. 

After every summer there is rain

After every winter, spring's upon us again. 

No cycle has no downside, 

No sorrow has no upside.

A friend's post reminded me of Bel Kaufman, 

"Up the Down Staircase" peppered with many a gem.

Another had earlier sent me delightful Ted Chiang's Arrival,

A third had just called to talk things trivial,

Each a signpost reminding me

Life is not all gloom and misery.

Chin up, cheer is near,

Just welcome it when you its arrival hear. :)

#Painting #Writing #Catharsis

- Written and Created on 15 June 2019.

- Posted on Instagram and Facebook. 

- Self-explanatory. 

Painting-Poesy #2

When I know I should have been working

Instead was procrastinating,

Just one more stroke, one more colour,

Just let me get this idea down on paper,

My notebook is filled with many a (false) pearl

Oystered in procrastination's shell,

My cellphone is testament to checklists

Unmarked, undone with few clicks,

Yet I procrastinate, hoping in vain,

This next one will satisfy a (non) artist's pain,

And strangely, while no beauties emerge,

My soul is at peace, as work yet again I purge.

#Procrastination #AnyExcuseWillDo #Escape #Art #PretendArtist

- Written and Created on 11 June 2019.

- Posted on Instagram and Facebook. 

- Self-explanatory. 

Painting-Poesy #1

Experiments make us stretch, feel woke, 

Just the tiniest change in the brush stroke,

Just a change in the palatte colours,

Just the idea, the thought, uncovers

New vistas, entire universes, within ourselves,

Perhaps within us reside some mischievous, magical 

elves.

#Painting #DigitalArt #Experiments #Art

- Written and Created on 7 June 2019.

- Posted on Instagram and Facebook. 

- Self-explanatory. 

Conversations in a Cab Ride :)

अच्छे तो बहुत लोग लगते हैं, इसका यह मतलब थोड़ी निकला कि जाके सबसे शादी कर लो।

(One may like many people, but it does not mean one gets married to them all). 

On my way home, stuck in quite a bit of traffic, after a haranguing time in a mini accident (no fault of my Uber driver), I heard this piece of wisdom dropped in the midst of my Uber driver, Azad, recounting his life story including a marriage he was emotionally blackmailed into by his parents when he was just 17 and his wife 16. The fact that this 8th school drop out is proud of his brothers having been able to continue with their studies, one to become an ethical hacker with a Computer Applications degree and another a pharmacist, proud that his wife is 12th pass, and was able to articulate the need for improved Govt schools in his home town area and link the education to quality of life, to self respect, to self evolution and to the job market showed how much he valued education even as he saw no way to get back into the game in the near future. The fact that he could respect his wife and admit that he would not have been the person she had chosen were she to have her opinion asked just as he would not have chosen her though she is a very nice person touched me.

As I told him at the end of the ride, his story is not a happy ending story and he laughed and agreed that it also was not a sad ending story and stated perhaps it is the average middle of the road story, I thought to myself about the many ways we talk of education that do not really take into account these realities of life.

He spoke of reservation in India, of govt schooling systems, of how the fall of the Babri Masjid intimately affected his family and how they had to move away from his hometown to protect themselves with the anti-Muslim sentiment prevalent in their area then, of how health care is not as effective still and so on.

Important topics all. A personalised yet nuanced understanding of the contexts he was speaking about, an ability to counter my arguments with his own examples without putting me down - all struck me, but the lines he said at the fag end of the ride somehow are the ones that resonated with me. Those and his intention to never force his little girl to ever go through a marriage that she had not wholeheartedly desired.

"सही marriage, madamji, वही होता है जहाँ आपस में समझ हो - husband अपनी Mrs ko समझे और wife अपने husband को। तभी सही बुरे वक्त में शादी टिकती है, वरना दो लोग जिंदगी में साथ चलते हैं, साथ रहते हैं पर वो शादी शादी नहीं होती"

(A true marriage is one in which there is mutual understanding - a husband understands his wife and she her husband. That is when the marriage stands the test of hard times, otherwise two people are just walking, living together, but it is not a marriage.) 

I really liked how he described schooling and what he thought of schools and language mediums and the reasons for poor literacy rate among Muslims in India. I did not agree with all his points, but that does not make his views invalid. Actually they become more interesting. Will need to research a bit more though on some of the points he raised. Maybe another post. 

 #cabrides #lifelessonsinconversations :)

- Written on 31 May 2019.

- Posted on  Facebook. 

- Self Explanatory. 

Election Results - 2019

D-Day looms and it feels my country

Is still itself sculpting

In the midst of identity politics, finding its own identity,

In the midst of chaos, developing, organising,

Somehow the flag flying proud and high in the university,

Made me realise anew my faith that no matter what, India will continue to be.

To be the hope for millions to rise to prosperity,

To be the beacon for millions to celebrate diversity,

To be the light for millions for peace and unity,

Even the fights are a celebration of variety.

Yes, I believe India will continue to be.

An idea, a faith, a dream, a reality.  

- Written on 22 May 2019. 

- Posted on Facebook. 

- Election results were to be announced 23 May 2019.

Happy Woman's Day - 2019

Women be strong,

Listen not to litanies wrong.

Obedience is not always a virtue

It is not selfishness to be to YOUR SELF true.

Walk towards what you want

And your talents do flaunt.

Fight for yourself not just others

Relax, kick back, why always be multitaskers? 

First give to yourself, believe you deserve,

The world needs YOU, not a martyr. 

You exist, you are precious. 

Celebrate not just today, but every moment, every year as felicitious. 

Happy Women's Day, today and every day. 

To everyone, because we need Gender Equality, not just a special day party :)

- Written on 8 March 2019.

- Posted first on Facebook. 

- Self-explanatory. 

That's so Foolish! - Out of the Mouth of Kids

That's so Foolish! - Out of the Mouth of Kids

Yesterday, as I was talking to my Uber driver finding his way to my location, I was also reading a poster, when I felt a tug on my dress. I looked down and this young kid (about 6 years of age) spoke to me:

Child: Are you calling them?

She was pointing to the poster and with no pause for breath, even as I began to shake my head and say no, continued.

Child: Because that is so foolish! They are just right inside. (Ponting to a building).

As she paused, looking at me with mild exasperation at my foolishness, I meekly submitted that I had been talking to my Uber driver.

She nodded her head wisely and proceeded to ask if I liked exercising (I had been looking at a Gym poster, outside a gymkhana at that, after all 😉). I shook my head and said I preferred sleeping and asked her what she liked to do.

We had a fascinating conversation jumping from topic to topic as she waited for her parents to pick her up and her friends had their own conversations around us with other parents milling about. As the 10 minutes passed in a jiffy, I also had a parallel track running in my head as the dusk light faded and the dim street lights slowly turned on.

Should I tell her to not talk to strangers so easily? Should I warn her to not separate so far from her friends? Should I question the other adults not seeming to notice that the little girl had wandered to me near enough to raise an alarm should it be needed, yet not really secure from nefarious intentions should I have them?

Yet was it fair to instill this fear in the child? I think she enjoyed our conversation as she questioned me on my likes and occupation and sermonised me about how I should deal with my students. I certainly did enjoy our conversation. Should I deprive myself and others like me the joys of having a child talk to them because the world can be a cruel place? Or should we as adults just be more vigilant and create more safe spaces? Even when it seems impossible to do so?

I have been pondering about this since then and I do not know the answer to this. Surely a child should feel safe to approach a stranger to share her delightful wisdom? But is it not better to be safe than sorry?

As my Uber driver and her parents arrived, I walked away exchanging pleasantries with the parents. I could hear them jokingly, lightly asking her why she was bent on walking away from friends and talking to a stranger and her vehemently defending her decision as a helpful one. She also argued that poor me had no one but a phone to talk to and I might have been foolishly talking into the phone to enquire about details than walk into the gymkhana. 😉

I am still thinking was I right to bite my tongue and not caution her? We often talk of children learning better through exploration, seeking information by themselves, helping others in an effort to understand the unknown. How then can we deny them spontaneous interactions with strangers that they architect themselves? And yet...

- Written on 9 Feb 2019.

- Posted on Facebook first. This is just for repository purposes :) 

- Self Explanatory. 

Kochi Trip - April 2019

As the Uber zips through the lanes of cars,
I look out at this city I have come to love.
Memories zip by as fast as the events,
So many to remember, relish, replay, recast even.
Two nieces and a nephew who make us laugh aloud,
Stubborn, affectionate, outgoing, they do us proud.
Cousins, sisters born
But as friends I do them now count.
More and more members warmly greet,
A gathering of this many no mean feat.
Music, laughter, and so much food,
The very best combo for times good.
Friends and family time is a treat,
Worth many, many a repeat,
Worth any effort
To realise the worth
Of shared values despite many a difference,
Of knowing the bond survives across generations.
To many more such meetings and soon,
For now I relive being over the moon.

- Written on 29 Apri 2019.
- A nephew's poonal was 28-29 April and this was one huge family meet. One gifting so many a cherished moment.

Why Friends Meet

When you are down in the dumps
It helps to have friends.

The ones who know what you feel,
And ones who still have your layers to peel.
The ones who always have your back,
And the ones you simply smile at.

They are all fun as you lose your worries
In the news, the gossip, the good ole days memories.
You make more memories too,
The ones that lend you vigour anew.

The hugs, the smiles, the quiet asides,
Are ever worth the travelled miles,
Are ever worth rejuggled times,
Are ever worth 'Unchecked To-Dos' and such crimes.

The new friends you make,
The new perspectives you gain,
The laughter, the fun, the eats
This is why friends need meet.

- Written on 30 December 2018.
- Self-explanatory. 

Thank You Blood Donors!

A loved one for 11 days in the ICU,
With kidney and heart problems, diabetes, gangrene, what have you,
7 different teams of doctors working on her case,
Everything slips by in a daze.

One hopes for the best, but fears always loom,
As the graphs spike and plummet, there is so much gloom:
12 units of blood and counting,
Multiple tests that lead to just the next thing.

More questions, fewer answers,
The game called life requires trust:
Trust in strangers to do their best,
Trust that what does the trick is rest,
Trust that doctors know what they are doing,
Trust that the medicines and surgeries are working.

Hospitals teach you so much each time,
There are more days yet to learn lessons prime.
For now, we take a deep breath and recharge,
With gratitude for all who gave blood that helped her death thwart.

~Anusha Ramanathan

#BloodDonation #Gratitude #KindStrangers

Mayank Mrinal Akanksha Sharma Kritarth Chaudhary Thank you so very much. And all the other unknowns and non Facebook friends too. The road to recovery would not have been possible without you.

- As posted on Facebook on 6 Jan 2019.
- Written on 6 Jan 2019.
- Self Explanatory  (Mom unwell). 

Goodbye 2018, Wecome 2019

Wish you all a wonderful 2019!

For the annual torture, read ahead if you will. I have definitely NOT been exhaustive in my recollection of 2018 events. There are just so very many.... 😱🤔😂

Goodbye 2018, Welcome 2019 :) 

2018 you have been tumultuous,
You have stressed us and stretched us,
In an era of memories outsourced to Google,
With moments and emotions too many to juggle.

Disasters from Kerala floods to Indonesian quakes,
From Hurricane Michael to the ongoing Syrian outrage,
From Californian fires to Indonesia's second tsunami
From tax benefits for the rich to a sluggish worldwide economy,
From Brexit's tragicomedy to Paris' Yellow Vest protestors,
From the Putin-Trump nexus, to Saudi's blatant Khashoggi murder,
From climate change naysayers to migration haters,
From gun violence to MeToo complaints increase
From the Trump-Kim love affair to Sridevi's decease.

Yet there have been ups galore
The kind that become folklore.
From Mary Kom to Hima Das, to Harmanpreet to Phogat to Manika to Sindhu,
The women in Indian sports shone this year too.
Science also won India glory,
The thinnest material from Gandhinagar IIT.
The Congress showed it is not yet out,
As it did in 2018 end the BJP rout.
India won the Champions of the Earth Award at the UN
Our country is the second best place for Unicorns (startups) to burgeon.
100 years since Armistice saw the world united
As did March for Our Lives, the biggest event to be student-led.
India decriminalised homosexuality,
And in Canada one can use cannabis legally.

Some events I know not how to react to:
The Sabrimala saga with so much ado,
The Patel Statue of Unity admist such dire poverty,
The weddings such as the extravaganza by Ambani
All while lakhs of farmers are dying
And education and health Indians are lacking.
Imran Khan's rebuff from Modi and his cronies,
Or China's gene-edited twin babies.

So much to let go, so much to take in,
So very much more somewhat forgotten:
2018 what a year you have been
With messages ranging from isolation to unity.

May 2019 be an oasis of calm and peace
May rationale win, may wisdom be appeased,
May emotions be positive and love triumph,
May divisions give way to unity's cries,
May the plenty we have be multiplied,
May everyone's dreams be realised,
May justice be served, may truth emerge,
May the youth find their voices and be heard.
May we all work to celebrate nature and its beauty,
May the economy too celebrate the values of humanity.
May globalism and oneness defeat isolationism,
May equality for all be made most welcome.

Happy 2019 everyone!

- Written on 31 December 2018.
- Self explanatory. 

Happy Diwali 2018

Diwali's origin is a mystery
Folklore has versions many

Is it Ram's return to Ayodhya?
Is it Krishna's defeat of Narkasura?

Is it Bali's defeat by Vamana?
Is it Mahavir Jain attaining Nirvana?

Is it to do with Lakshmi or Kubera?
Is it to do with Saraswati or Durga?

Whatever the legend be
All celebrate good's victory.

The darkest, the night of Amavas
Is lit bright with light bursts.

Ignorance, like darkness, is defeated
As the lights of knowledge are ignited.

The ones with plenty share merrily
For the whole world is a family.

What matters the symbol,
When the thought is crystal?

What matters the language
When humanity we celebrate?

Worldviews expressed differently,
Yet are the same essentially.

Diwali equalises us as human
Perfectly balancing reason and emotion.

Happy Deepavali!
May the lights of the season brighten your and your loved ones' lives forever.

- Written on 5 November 2018 night.
- Diwali is on 6 Nov for South Indians and on 7 Nov for the North. But what matters is the season of festivities continue. :)
- Also a friend and colleague is coteaching a paper on Language Pedagogy and yesterday's session inspired me to think of origins of stories and symbols and signs in language.

Facebook Link to the rhyme and responses:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155535214786230&id=692626229

Chirantan Ami wrote on Facebook on 6 Nov 2018 in response to the above:


We light up the streets, our lives to push away the evil,
Why don't we push away the darkness inside us,
Why don't we light ourselves everyday
Why do we wait for some occasion to celebrate humanity,
Why don't we do it everyday
May from this deepavali onwards we re-think the meaning of our being.
May souls like you save
Us from pulling in the darkness inside.
May the lights today
Light up our existence and illuminate our perspective
Happy deepavali to youAnusha Ramanathan, and to all of us still searching for our guiding lights!

My response to him on 6 Nov 2018 also on Facebook:

Chirantan S:

The idea of Diwali is good over evil,
It is the thought that our minds should fill.

The day is just a reminder
Of the path we hold dear.

The day is like a signpost
Of what we achieved and how much further to go.

The day is to inspire us anew
To make us goodness with fresh vigour to pursue.

No we should not wait for an occasion to celebrate humanity,
But we need to celebrate our endeavour, our unity.

It is not to be just symbolic,
That is worse than words and actions vitriolic.

But as we march ahead in our serious quest,
We do need respite, some joy, some jest.

That is how I see this fest,
On the onward journey, a rejuvenating rest. :)

My Facebook Responses on 3 October 2018

Facebook Responses to brilliant posts calling out the ignorance and/or the hypocrisy of people in responding to stories of sexual abuse survivors.

In response to Harrish Iyer: 
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156823622040452&id=786145451 

I totally agree. The analogies you give are brilliant. What is more, the witnesses will not remember the incident in the same way either. That is why investigators piece together the incident by listening to the various narratives.

Not just that, as one begins to articulate and tries to remember the traumatic incident as one is questioned repeatedly, one does begin to recollect more details and sometimes they lead to seemingly contradictory statements. That is another piece to add to your explanation of the trauma.

The brain protects us from some recounting some memories day in and day out till another incident triggers the rememberance of horror.

BTW is this is also a result of what is unfolding in the USA in addition to all that is happening here? It seems to me like a systemic epidemic across the world and the more powerful the accused, the less powerful the accuser, the less credible the accusation. It seems that we believe that power and only power should speak up. Not justice. And definitely not truth.

There may be many, many sides to a story. Perspectives differ. But to discount a narrative altogether is unfair. We do not have to agree with another to respect their point of view and definitely their right to have their opinion.


In response to Meghnand Bose on Bollywood's (especially Amitabh Bachchan's comments) hypocrisy in responding to Tanushree Dutta's accusations. 
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156079830037607&id=566742606

This is a very good articulation of what is unfolding right now.

I think it is about power vs power. The person who is less powerful is less likely tk be believed. Unfolding all around the world. See the USA nomination for a Supreme Court justice.

Another thing many of us forget is that one can be good most all times and still be bad at times. And the bad behaviour needs to be called out.

And for those who say why one did not speak up earlier and call out the incident (as publicly as now), let's not even go outside our homes. How many family and friends gatherings have we been a part of when an old grudge, an old slight, seemingly insignificant to all but the person feeling the pain, have been laid out bare?


When someone dies in our families certain incidents and thoughts that we never knew of emerge painting that person in a different hue. Ditto for weddings or graduations and so on. Parents recount incidents about our childhood to us that we have no recollection of. We accuse our parents of unfairness at times based on an incident a long time ago that they do not recollect off hand. But then therein the story is not termed to be fiction because the narrative's underlying theme is not about power. When it is, then the story that preserves status quo is more often believed.

- On 3 October 2018.
- Self-explanatory.

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi (2018)

Today is Ganesh Chathurthi
But somehow this morning no lines flowed miraculously,
Perhaps this year (I thought) it was not meant to be.

And then right now it struck me
Not about Ganesh per se, but about my locality,
The neighbourhood has never celebrated so silently.

The lights are on in the pandal in which the murti is residing,
But no loud bells are ringing, no speakers are chants and bhajans blaring,
The silence has a message resounding.

'... times, they are a-changing"
It is so very becoming.
Slow, steady, the fires have been long burning.

Not to burn, but to resuscitate
Not to exclude, but to equity inculcate,
The laws, the people all out to humanity celebrate.

There resides a  vignaharta in each of us,
The fight to fight or give up is up to us,
It is not about an idol but an ideal that deserves the fuss.

Yes, this month we overcame ignorance, overcame fear,
But more causes are yet to be fought dear,
And so, let go, reinvigorate, to again herald cheer.

For now rest, take a break from the drill,
"Imagine" "a world that's for everyone"; it's brill,
"Change is gonna come, oh yes it will".

- Written on 13 September 2018.
- Today is Ganesh Chathurthi. On 6 Sep Section 377 in the Indian Constitution changed to allow for gay rights finally. Then, of course, over the weekend we had the Serena Williams match triggering yet again the controversy of rampant sexism in tennis and elsewhere. So here is to another fight, another day. :)
- The quotes are taken from some of my favourite songs Bob Dylan's 'Times They Are A-Changing', John Lennon's 'Imagine'  Colonial Cousins' 'Krishna Nee', and Seal's rendition of Sam Cooke's 'A Change Is Gonna Come'. 

Happy Teacher's Day (2018)

Teacher's day is here again,
A chance to 'Thank You' for all that we have gained.
Here is my list for this year:
To completion it is nowhere near.

Thank you gardener uncle for patiently
Teaching me to use the spade gently.
Thank you Anil bhaiya for teaching me the milking art,
Thank you goat for being the patient guinea to help me start.
Thank you conductor of 505 on blurry mornings,
Teaching me the art of cheering up with quirky greetings.
Thank you earthworm for teaching me
To dig in the mud with so much glee.
Thank you squirrel for coaching me
To spot mangoes through you on our tree.
Thank you Suresh for tutoring
On the art of to great heights swinging.
Thank you friends for preparing me endlessly
For the art of failing hopelessly.
Thank you brother for enlightening me
Ever and ever on embracing humility.
Thank you doctors for upskilling me
On medicines and procedures though I have no degree.
Thank you transport in Mumbai for disciplining me
For every instance of my rush reach anywhere in a hurry.
Thank you bed for showing me
How to forget worries to gain new energy.

Thank you is not enough for all the ongoing learning
And teachers are not found in just a school building.

This not to say I respect not teachers in schools or colleges,
My gratitude to mine is boundless.
They are the ones who taught me after all
To appreciate teachers in all their forms.
They began by making me see
That I will learn only when the message and messenger I believe.

Thank you world for so many stalwarts of humanity,
To grow with and learn from to become a better me.


- Written on 5 September 2018.
- Self-explanatory.

An exchange on FB and WhatsApp each is something I will cherish always and hence am posting.

Dharam (who for years has been trying to get me to Dubai) on FB commented:
Thank you Emirates/jet/indigo/air india/air Arabia for being options for my impending Dubai trip.

Ramesh on WhatsApp said:
[9/5, 3:38 PM] Ramesh Dorai: ...Thank you for teaching  how " _just_ words" can teach  those that cannot be taught by just words...

 Happy teachers day
😉👍🏼

That poem  of yours, was wonderful 👏👏

My response:
You are one of the stalwarts in my life.

From you I learn how sacrifice is not martyrdom, how navy toughness can coexist with artistic softness much like the seas you traverse, how giving can be generous and how living means reaching out to many and yes, how words can be woven into poetry.

His Response
[9/5, 4:14 PM] Ramesh Dorai: It's an honour to be called so by a Super genius stalwart I know😉

I just linked sails. It's sea which taught it can be  waved

I just linked words. It's you who taught it can be woven

😜

Friendships: Happy and Happening

Friendships are about tears as much as laughter,
About teasing and cribbing as much as a wet shoulder.
Strength comes from knowing that no matter how apart
The love and relationships will survive no matter what.
Each fresh beginning comes from an ending,
But an ending is just a path that could again be intersecting.

Dream, thrive, reach for the stars,
Here's to success with no bars.
A birthday and a new beginning
L... and M... may your lives ever be happy and happening.

- 18 June 2018
- Self explanatory. One's birthday and one's new job. :) 

What is in a word?

'What is in a word?' ask many
Is a word ever a stable entity?
Do actions matter or names?
Is ever a word all it claims?

Then we see the effect of one
A word choice can others stun
Into euphoria or despair as the case may be
It often depends on what is perceived.

A poem by Imtiaz Dharker speaks of a person
A rebel to some, a terrorist even,
A martyr to some, a neighbor frightened,
Perhaps one's own son.

The descriptor changed with each perspective,
The words guided readers to be reflective,
But there is also the emphasis
That words capture not the spirit.

Yet each time wars are fought
On whether one is left or right or not,
Whether one deems oneself privileged,
Whether a word a community humiliates.

A film banned, a book burned, a post lost,
A single word, a career foul, a heavy cost.
Yet do words convey just one sense?
Do opposite not reside on the same fence?

The sun sets
The batter sets
The cement sets
And so change sets.

Yet when a word has power immense,
To hurt or uplift sentiments,
It behooves to be judicious
To save, to enrich relations precious.

- Written on 20 March 2018.
- A hurried, unintentional use of a word, 'core', for a team led to debates on hierarchy. Hence...
- Also, if you want to read the poem I refer to bybone of my fav poets, Imtiaz Dharker's The Right Word can be found at http://www.imtiazdharker.com/poems_7-the-right-word 

Death Scares

Death, I am told is scary,
To me life is the tragedy,
I pray the end have dignity,
Be absolutely pain free
But to prolong life seems a travesty
Though I do believe in fighting spiritedly.

I am told I am a cynic,
I seem detached when others panic,
I shrug off the events chaotic
Go with the flow, even if arrhythmic,
Why become depressed manic
Though I do shout out against the injustice chronic.

I wonder when I stopped fearing death,
When did it become almost a friend instead?
Because I know 72 hours of bated breath
When to know my brother's future we waited and waited.
I know too of the vigil at mother's hospital bed
When a miniscule time frame was on what our faith we fed.

Tears help not in crises,
Let go of them, weep, but persist.
Fear chokes throat, thought, hope,
Sharpen senses on it, but hang on to faith's rope.
Know, no matter what, someone L.I.V.E.D,
Never let this life before its time be stripped.

Time and time again death flirts
For friends, for family, it thirsts,
Yet time and again many have managed
To continue their earthly vantage,
Those who could not are not to be regretted,
That they existed should be celebrated.

Death scares perhaps teach us best,
That we can withstand any test.
Perhaps they make us be grateful
For what we have in life's push and pull.
For now just immerse in all that is comforting,
Reading-escaping, writing-purging, sleeping-energising.

- Written on 13 Jan 2018.
- Hmm... A lot of scares this past year. 02 aunts fighting cancer. Another friend fighting the battle too...and so on.

2017. The year that was...

2017. The year that was...

For me, personally, total chaos.

I kickstarted it professionally with new developments, 

Then periodically halted to take stock of health. 

I fulfilled a dream and went to the Biennale in Kochi,

But more I connected better with family.

The professional scene changed hues galore, 

The old, the new, together but did not fit in a complete core. 

On a personal front, I claim 02 beauties, 

Two wonderful nieces added to my blessings bounties. 

Friends and family found new trajectories, 

Some got married, some awards, transfers, PhDs, some babies. :) 

Missed opportunities to bond better, 

Some relationships changed, with others I became closer. 

Goals and deadlines have more often been not met, 

There is happiness tinged with sadness and a tiredness relentless. 

It has been exhilarating, confounding and debilitating,

I still am not sure of the path I am treading.

But 2017 you have had me introspecting, 

I think this has been a year of metamorphing. 

The process is not yet complete, I feel I am in stasis, 

But then this too is a part of chrysalis. 

2017, you have me perplexed yet grateful, 

Your largesse has been nebulous yet bountiful. 

- 1 January 2018

- Self-explanatory.