Happy Holi 2017

Sometimes colours are all grey, 

No matter what you do, there seems no way. 

It all seems a hopeless struggle,

To go ahead you work hard to find a will.

At times like these when there is no zest

There sometimes comes a colourful fest. 

And no, you are NOT happy, 

But how with all the wishes can you depressed be? 

And you return the wishes with a smile fake, 

Till at somepoint you no longer feel on a coal rake. 

Thank God for friends and family, 

Who might not understand, but still support faithfully. 

Colours of so many hues arranged wonderfully, 

At the end of the day they merge joyously. 

One from the other so hard to distinguish, 

But they all in each other exist. 

Perhaps that is the lesson taught by Holi,

That even washed away we could live on in memory.

- Written on 12 March 2017.

- Happy Holi to all on 13 March 2017.

Self-explanatory. 

Resist, Exist

Throbbing, debilitating, relentless, 

Rendering one almost senseless. 

Over time one learns to move, 

To smile, to work, to slip into a groove. 

One tires, but pushes, what else to do, 

To retire from life or to trudge - these the only choices two. 

One seeks solace in fruitless hope, 

Somewhere, somehow one will find the dope, 

To cure the ailment, to cease the pain, 

Perhaps then one can truly live again. 

Then one day the pain eases, 

One should be pleased one supposes, 

But no! A habit, even a bad one, comforts, 

The lack of it actually disconcerts. 

What, how, should one do anything now? 

For so long the ache made one bow, 

Walking with a lesser burden even more deadens,

Why is it that is when one is near the destination? 

It tempts to let go of all there is, 

It tempts to cease to resist, to exist.

- Written on 27 February 2017.

- Because I am stupid and in a bad mood, perhaps. Though I often wonder why pain is missed so when it seems to wane, is it because after so long one knows not how else to be, or is it that the tiredness finally takes over when all that resistance that gave one energy is no longer as needed? 

I dunno. I do know that I sometimes am the weakest when recovering, not suffering. Why? Coz. So? 

The Kochi 2017 Trip

Plotting, prodding, for 02 whole years, 

Planning, failing, replanning visits, 

The Kochi-Muzaris Biennale Art Fest beckons for sure, 

But also the chance to connect with another family treasure, 

Finally,  finally, the rebooked tickets are stamped, 

Finally, finally, in my holiday destination I land. 

- Written on 18 February 2017.

[25/02 7:51 am] Anusha Ramanathan: 

The planning for over 2 years sporadically shared, 

The ever eager partner in you had me even more snared. 

The flight delayed as I wait eagerly, 

To finally begin vacationing in Kochi.

I finally land to be greeted so warmly, 

Your family circle including me so easily. 

The Sunday with all the travel snippets, 

The Jew Synagogue, shopping, browsing, the beach, the Chinese nets... 

The picture sessions, the lunch with a view, 

The Church, David Hall, Students' Corner, the drive too.

Then Monday, us girls' day out largely, 

The Second Wife meal, the amazing company.

The ferry ride on Kerala waters at last, 

The walk through the park,

The awe of Basilica still resounds, 

Each moment with joy abounds.

Then lazy Tuesday with a visit to the doc, 

That V... paid for!!!! 

Kerala Folklore Musuem experience I culled, 

The Sacred Heart tour and an ex-student's company minor inconveniences lulled.

Wednesday was again a day for lazing about, 

As Amma says, I used your home as a resort!

Thursday, most Biennale haunts completed, 

A lazy evening, catching up, was exactly what I needed. 

Then Friday, the last day, that you all made awesome, 

From morning tea to the pizza party, each moment was with fun fulsome.

The kids have been such exuberant fun,

Their foibles negligible, they are human! 

Even with the long visit some things we skipped, 

Reading your chapters, for instance, I missed. 🤔🙈

I also cannot possibly capture, 

The amazing moments of sharing, of many a conversation bender. 

The care, the patience you each showed me, 🤗

Makes me want to repeat this trip already! 

I hope I can soon return this hospitality, 

Though I know I can't measure up to Your Excellency!

Thank you ALL. Each of you made my trip special.

[25/02 7:56 am] Anusha Ramanathan: 

I missed writing about so many cherished memories,

But each adds to my riches' repository, 

It all boils down to finally, 

The stupedofantasticallymagical company.

- Written on 25 February 2017.

- It was a holiday. I have this wonderful cousin who has this super family and it was an awesome holiday all in all even with all the doc visits I had to undertake being me.  :) 

Responses on WhatsApp - to Poems of a student

Response 01 on WhatsApp 

[15/11/2016 10:09 pm] Anusha Ramanathan: 

A thought is air 

Enclosed in mustiness it would despair, 

Left free to roam, it would wonderfully fare. 

It might become polluted, but its essence retain, 

It might be wrong,  but it could retrain, 

Protection, limitation, it would disdain.  

A thought released is boundless

Once shared it becomes creatorless, 

It then finds its true purpose.

Response 02 on WhatsApp 

[15/11/2016 10:25 pm] Anusha Ramanathan: 

The power of thought is that it so sparkles, 

That it lights a million more miracles, 

It breaks through plastic,  escapes barriers

It expresses itself and renews all of us.

Response 03 on WhatsApp:

[12/02/2017 07:39 pm] Anusha Ramanathan:

To be missed this much, 

By one such

Is when unicorns rule the throw of dice, 

Is when darkness is dispelled by sunrise, 

Is not Heaven nor Hell, 

Is where Love does dwell,

Happiness is swell, 

Peace all else does quell.

- Written on dates afore mentioned. 

- I have this supertalented student who inspires me a lot. And intimidates me like hell as well :P 

My Comfort,, My Bed

Comfort:

A holiday from all effort. 

The bed, my solace:

A place to just laze. 

Reading, writing, doing nothing:

Thinking, dreaming, on whimsy ideas floating.

Deep breathing, out of the window gazing, 

Finding even the BMC election rhetoric amusing.

Hours and hours of not talking, 

Not engaging, just being, just existing. 

There is so much to do,  so true, 

But even that guilt vanishes as if by some charm of voodoo. 

Acquainting with self all over again, 

Dreams,  desires,  goals, reinventing the whole damn train.

- Written on 13 February 2017.

- Self-explanatory. I have realised holidays do this to me. :) 

If I could just....

If I could just under the covers hide, 

If I could just let all my ambitions, dreams, slide, 

If I could just let the days move in and out, 

If I could just let others's expectations rout, 

If I could just stop feeling, 

If I could nothing be craving, 

If I could just lie retreating, 

If I could just in my own world be living,

If I could slowly cease thinking, cease existing.

- Written on 11 Feb 2017

- Self-explanatory. 

Happy 2017!

Well,  well,  well! 

2016,  farewell! 

The end of an era of hope

That bigotry won't on humanity foreclose. 

But the Brexit heralded the trend 

Trump's win just brought home the end. 

Deaths littered the year's tidings:

Castro died: a paradox of autocracy and establishment resisting,

The iconic Jayalalitha breathed her last, 

Leaving a legacy of progress for the most part. 

But let's not focus on what went wrong, 

The flaws are many and we have wept long,

This year had its share of triumphs and joys

Just enough to serve as buoys. 

Hillary may have lost, but the Indian women shone

Sindhu, Sakshi, Dipa, Aditi, all brought medals and glory home. 

Sports has given us much to cheer,

Kabbaddi, Hockey, Cricket, Football, Paes all brought us delight sheer. 

Demonetisation angst is heard all over, true, 

But that Indians know to stand in line in India it proved. 

Amazing the numbers of the starving, the helpless and the newly jobless 

Accepting hardships peacefully in the quest for promised progress. 

Air pollution maybe galore, 

Industries and cars increase ever more.

But the Paris Climate Agreement was signed

India and China are leading this fight. 

Last year Tamil Nadu drowned in a torrential deluge, 

This year they battled Cyclone Vardah and gave hope a refuge, 

Sikkim became the first Indian fully organic state, 

Digitisation, a youth filled country may bring on a laurels spate. 

Here's wishing all a Happy 2017! 

May it see a reign of wisdom, peace and prosperity. 

- Written on 31 December 2016.

- Self-explanatory.

I just could not include the many things I wished to such as Sehwag's witticisms on Twitter discovered and many more. But it was just getting too long.  

Thought

[15/11 10:09 pm] Anusha Ramanathan: 

A thought is air 

Enclosed in mustiness it would despair, 

Left free to roam, it would wonderfully fare. 

It might become polluted, but its essence retain, 

It might be wrong,  but it could retrain, 

Protection, limitation, it would disdain.  

A thought released is boundless

Once shared it becomes creatorless, 

It then finds its true purpose.

[15/11 10:09 pm] Anusha Ramanathan: 👆🏻in short,  I think you should publish more and more.

[15/11 10:20 pm] ‪+91 8.... 3:
The thought
That u say
Wraps us all
In clouds and in plastic
The thought that u say
We breathe in
And surfaces
Unknowingly

[15/11 10:25 pm] Anusha Ramanathan:
The power of thought is that it so sparkles,
That it lights a million more miracles,
It breaks through plastic,  escapes barriers
It expresses itself and renews all of us.

- Written on 15 November 2016.

- Because I think someone should publish,  obviously.  Really talented person. Part of a WhatsApp conversation that I do not want to forget,  since part of this also applies to me in my opinion. Need a reminder.

Happy Diwali 2016

Commemorate! There is light! 

Happiness glows bright!

Shops tempt,  lure with discounts, 

New and shiny everywhere abounds.

Sweets and savouries,  the foodies delight, 

Crackers,  holidays, the children's world make right.

Family and friends, colleagues and neighbours, 

So many, many get-togethers.

The time to remind ourselves comes again, 

No matter what despair,  hope does us sustain.

No matter what ignorance,  wisdom will prevail

No matter the darkness,  light remains our Holy Grail.

Eat,  rest,  rejoice, rejuvenate, 

Diwali is here,  CELEBRATE!

Happy Diwali 2016!!!

Be Safe. Be Happy. 

Always, Always,  Blessed Be.

- Written on 29 October 2016.

- My annual spam.  A friend said I was lucky to have him as a friend since he did not torture me with purported poetry. :)  So this is also dedicated to all my tolerant friends and family.  :P.  

Sorry Folks! Some of you chose me and some had no choice, but either way, you have the choice of not reading my message - the Happy Diwali 2016 title of Email/WhatsApp should have warned you :P

Touchdown

Touchdown: the jet
A holiday begun,  long awaited.

Touchdown: cold
Does it ever let go off its hold?

Touchdown: a dhabha lunch
The company making it truly awesome.

Touchdown: the sisters's meet
Generosity, mirth, moments sparkling sweet.

Touchdown: the sun rays
Wow! A free day awaits!!

Touchdown: the sleep-foregoing decision
In a walking tour confirmed participation.

Touchdown: the idol makers' finishing touches
The power,  the purity, the history,  each punches.

Touchdown: a lunch sumptuous
The agreement to a movie miraculous.

Touchdown: memories and advice
The overarching love and concern the highlight.

Touchdown: a visit with more of the family
The bonding with gen next a prize victory.

Touchdown: dinner and a movie
But again the attraction is the company.

Touchdown: a late night walk
The real merriment was in the talk.

Touchdown: a lazy breakfast
A shopping expedition for the mukham cast.

Touchdown: a lunch with accouterments,
Chatting on topics sundry the bond strengthens.

Touchdown: sleepy conversations still
To agree to disagree overriding all past ill.

Touchdown: a hurried trip saying bye
The MIA panic reared underscoring the tie.

Touchdown: waking up to go back
Keenly felt time's lack.

Touchdown: the flight on homeground
The memories though warm one as they abound.

- Written on 03 October 2016.
- A trip to Kolkata. The people concerned will know all I referred to and my eagerness to repeat the experience.

Torn

Torn between right and right

How does one decide 

Which side the balance tilts

When both employ reason's guilds?

When the head listens but cannot be swayed

But the other's points it does not upbraid, 

Two opinions: one more agreeable,

But the other also credible. 

One's hurt felt deep, 

Another's priniciples pay a price steep, 

Both leave the other be, 

Concern for each other decree. 

Yet a difference on some turns of tide, 

Can/Should they be really brushed aside? 

Is it ok to neglect 01 pain or the other forsake? 

Why should such decisions have to be made? 

Oh! Sometimes family causes such turbulent times, 

Even as Unity it resoundingly chimes, 

Yes, the two poles graciously yield, 

Let one retire from the field. 

Yet one feels a sense of gloom

A shame that not more one could do, 

Not a choice, perhaps,  but a clear way

To have peace and happiness and unity reign. 

Torn between the right and right

It becomes a question of who one sides:

Whose shoes fit better though both are tried? 

Or who would be stronger when the tears are dried? 

- Written on 12 October 2016.

- Sometimes loving guarantees quandries. And while no one pressurises,  one feels guilt for doing nothing and for not doing anything.  And yes, there is a difference in the two :( 

Thank You, Cousin-friends

Friday evening the excitement was sky high,  
In the Amtrak, I saw wonderful scenes whiz by, 
But more I looked forward to the hugs awaiting me home, 
A long time in the coming, this visit so rejuvenating, 
The smiles of welcome, the breeze shooting, 
The smells and taste of pav bhaji, 
The more delicious conversing,  
The sibling teasing witnessing, 
The cozy relaxing, 
The late morning awakening, 
The tea in the mug, I'd never thought I would do,
The dances, the walk, the phone call, so much to look back to, 
The lunch, the evening carnival outing, 
The suitcase and swimsuit!, the swimsuit! buying!
The Hibachi dinner, the fire, the chef's verve, 
Poor unwell M..v, but then the reviving  icecream scoop, 
The beach and pizza the next day, 
My conventional attitudes fell to your rational say, 
The cold water, the warm summer rays, 
The ball game, the swing, the ice-cream again, 
The drive through town, the library's riches, 
The grilled dinner, the movie, serial, fulfilling all my wishes,
The care with milk and sugar for my tea,
The non existent parade, the American Diner Coffee, 
The Chole Bature, the fun kid games, the story weaver, 
The pizza, the sheer lazy day, the beauty of nature, 
The next day a gossip session, but more the warmth of cousins, friends, 
So many mementos, each moment a treasure, 
Of beautiful memories of overwhelming pleasure.

- Wtitten on 1 June 2016.

-Sometimes when I am feeling low,  I need a reminder, 

That I am blessed with much, family and friends who make my life so much better, 

I get this all without doing anything, 

It make life worth 'truly living'. 

Thank YOU,  cousin-friends :) 

Thank you, Friend

[28/05 5:14 am] Anusha Ramanathan: 

Oh what fun I had with the 4 of you, 

The banter, the chatter, the caringly carefree attitude, 

The fact that you waited an hour and more, 

As immigration processed frustratingly slow, 

The fact that you drove out at all, 

The fact that you took time to become my shop girl on call, 

The fact that you made rotis at 12,

That Sudarshan waited past sleep time to welcome and help, 

The fact that my lazy morning breakfast was work you brushed past, 

The fact that whatever I wished for, I immediately got, 

The tea, awesome, the ice cream welcome, 

The magic of the washer-drier I cannot yet overcome, 

The playground interior so amazing, 

The Amazon and Apple stories, the many moments of laughing, 

The kids' puzzles, the effort they made, 

The shyness they quickly overcame, 

The cuddles they gave, the warmth still lingers, 

The "bumpy" road ride, the "car wash" criers, 

The memories jump at me one after another, 

The awesomeness of your friendship: what a wonderful treasure!

Thank You!

- Written on 28 May 2016. 

- This was a WhatsApp message I'd written to my friend.  I am posting it here because I do not want to lose track of the truth it contains as to how very, very much my friends enrich my life even as I do nothing and how very,  very,  very blessed I am indeed.  

Thank YOU,  S. 

My Feel Safe Bed and Home

Recently I read an article forwarded,

It spoke of a safe space that comforted.

It articulated all that I’ve ever felt,

About protection from the hand life dealt.

My home is not always comfortable,

Quite a bit about it, in it, is undesirable.  

But be what may,  it helps me keep sane,

Through all my turmoils I cling to this safety chain.

At the end of a hard day or even at its beginning,

I want to be home doing something or nothing.  

I want to stay in bed and read or surf,

I even enjoy cleaning windows and such in my ‘turf’.

I can escape to dreamland,  think,  create,

If only I feel safe.  

I can cry,  more than laugh, without shame,

I can my thoughts truly liberate.

I can with friends feel connected,  

A theatre,  a cafe make us conscious,  feel disbanded.  

I can relate to another without society’s persuasion,

I find I need space as much as time to determine my opinion.

Don’t get me wrong,  society always persists,

Even in my sacred space it insidiously exists.  

But it seems easier at home to accept views contrary

To what was taught and what I’d thought, and to query.

My bed is ship, I the captain,

Guiding it to an yet unknown destination.

A destination of hope and happiness

Of prosperity,  of safety,  of oneness.

But can I convert the skills I seem to learn,

To make the world a better one,

To share,  to work, to change the world and me,

To converge and expand,  such that the outside as the inside, my home be?

Dreams I weave sitting on my bed,  

I get up,  dizzy,  but resolutely shed

My cocoon and march to greet on this day ahead,

This world I care so much about and the one I dread.

I know not what good I can do,

I know not if I will achieve what I set to,  

But I am inspired, I will try till I tire,

Then to this home and bed I will retire.

To regain energy and passion,

To indulge in calm reflection,

To rejuvenate to envision,

To emerge again with resolution.  

- Written on 18 August 2016.

- The article I refer to  

http://www.domain.com.au/advice/21-signs-your-home-is-your-best-friend-20160708-gq0r4d/ 

No. 15 is so me,  me,  me,  me.  :) 

Cousins' Company

Commiserations at boring family functions, 

Plotting to escape the elders' benevolent maledictions,

Friends despite unfair adult comparisons, 

The one better teased in unison, 

No space for gloating, but still praise aplenty, 

The 'weakest' even with the 'best': the Cousins' Company.

- Written on 3 May 2016. 

- In response to a cousin's post on a group about the beauty of cousins. 

India's political inventory

The need to change names, 
To reestablish identities dead and decayed. 
The need to assert, these are our Gods, even in cities swank, 
Just to reassure the Khap Panchayat type vote bank!
The need to glorify mythical history, 
To divert attention from current tragedy. 
The pathos to bathos trajectory, 
Is India's political inventory. 

- Written on 22 April 2016. 

- In response to Gurgaon becoming Gurugram to commemorate Dronacharya nearabout Dr Ambedkar's birth anniversary. 

Read:http://scroll.in/article/806918/ambedkar-vs-dronacharya-why-gurugram-is-just-the-rss-showing-whos-the-boss

Panic Manic

Lost. Drowning.

That panicked feeling.

Again strikes.

Chides. Derides.

I want to be fearless.

Of obstacles dauntless.

But I foresee a fall

Free. Deep. I am appalled.

I know. I believe.

I can overcome any tragedy.

But I still feel choked.

I still have no faith in hope.

A curse: This panic.

Makes me manic.

I feel so frantic

Beating myself with my hopeless stick.

- Written on 19 April 2016.

- Self-explanatory. Most times I choke, never my true fear do I know.

The Savan Durga Trek

We could still see the moon high in the western sky, 

When got into the bus in spirits high,

We were gonna climb a hill, 

We were gonna tire and persevere still. 

And 'we did and how' was the triumphant cry, 

Arthritis and vertigo were bid good bye, 

Up and up on cactus laden path, 

Up the boulders, we climbed, we crawled.

Some reached the heights of beauty, 

Sat on a fort wall thinking deeply, 

Some gave up half way so graciously, 

Half trek, our bit, done, they shrugged unapologetically. 

By 10 we were down getting  group-selfies, 

But what I cherish most are the memories, 

Of holding hands, of helping, encouraging, 

Of sharing, posing, independence enabling.

Back in the bus rejoicing, 

Working, yes, hushed talking,

Of curtains pulling, sleeping,

Of smiling, quietly team building. 

Clicking. CLIxing. :)

- Written on 25 Feb 2016. Posted today :) 

- An observation from a hill trek @Savan Durga with friends and colleagues. 

Death - 2 poems

Sometimes death is welcome,

Pain, intense, makes death seem wholesome. 

Then someone dies, as anticipated, 

We don't rejoice, but the relief is celebrated. 

Yet there is an underlying sorrow, 

It is the past that saddens, not morrow. 

The moments that could have been glorious,  

The bonds that could have been more joyous. 

The times when one turned the other way, 

The past that taught, that shaped, our today. 

Now no more a chance for a fresh beginning, for understanding, 

There was no desire sharp, but now there will be no reckoning. 

All paths ended, death holds its sway,
And one reflects what should now change.

- 25 March 2016
- It has been haunting me. Death.
I do not fear it.
But there is a sense of loss, nevertheless.
An uncle died on 7 March
From pain, suffering, a release gained.
Another had died weeks before
I saw my father lose his starch.
It strikes home, it does, no matter how stalwart,
The departed leave on a new quest,
Even as we begin to find new meaning
A new direction as we walk on a slightly different path.
New reflections, new insights,
Old wine, new bottle, perhaps,
But still the thought haunts,
'What if' resonates, and I wonder what I ought.
Words of comfort, I have none to give,
Death is release, I firmly believe.
But a loss is a loss, even in troubled loves,
Years of togetherness forge strong bonds.
I do not know what to say, to feel even,
Is it life I fear and death welcome?

Happy New Year! Welcome 2016! GOODBYE 2015 :)

Happy New Year! 

Wish you all the very best in 2016! 

Now if you are ready for my annual spam, read ahead :) 

DISCLAIMER: Only PART of all that I wanted to include, but is still as long as usual. 

What a year you were 2015!
Your Tagline: See Silver in Tragedy.
Did we laugh or did we cry?
Oh! I can just see that smile wry.   

Be it the Charlie Hebdo attack or the ISIS bombing,
The world united and vowed terrorism's ending.
The Nepal earthquake, the Chennai flooding,
The Haj stampede, the racial killings,
Through all these we gained courage; we kept faith,
Because people helped each other with mercy and grace. 

Yes, the Syrian crisis showed us again
How very indifferent we can be to another's pain.
How insular, insecure, some of us are,
How ignorance still thrives in the educated's heart.
Yet, Greece still is part of the Euro,
And Germany and Canada taught us to keep open the door. 

Free: a killer lawyer, Salman Khan, a juvenile rapist,
Ban: beef, alcohol, meat, curses in films -whatever is wrong to the neo-fascist.
Reign: India as home to the largest number of the world's hungry
Reach: The PM's focus on global tours and free basics and only the industry.
Create: Furore for things best ignored such as Aamir's statements or the AIB Roast
Ignore: Lack of basic amenities, corruption, that the environment is toast.
Reap: Floods, starvation, home grown terrorists, suicides in millions
Weep: This is not India, the aspiration and positivity of more than a billion. 

Yet, there is much to rejoice,
Indeed, we are spoilt for choice.
Grand old Leander Paes now holds the record for tennis titles,
Young Wrestlers and Pankaj Advani and Mirza and Nehwal too won laurels.
Operation Maitri and Operation Rahat did us proud,
Kalam inspired us to work, to live, with passion, till wrapped in a shroud.
For COP21 we united, the BASIC worked for "common but differentiated responsibilities"
World over Indians and Indian Origins are shining with their many feats. 

We now have the world celebrate the Yoga Day,
And we have our very own Constitution Day.
Yes, the parliament is still not functioning,
Yes, the politicians are still pettily bickering,
Yes, there is much to change,
But Maggi is back, for now we celebrate. 

Take heart in the silver lining,
It keeps our spirits from flagging.
Take heart in generosity and courage,
That inflation and calamities we can face,
Take heart that the common folks continue to be
India and the world's triumph in the face of tragedy. 

Believe that this road is not the end of a journey,
Believe that the writing of the future is in our deeds.
Believe that age nor time nor circumstance can ever defeat,
Believe that we can accomplish any feat.
Believe that inclusion is better than judgemental exclusion
Believe that flowers can indeed win wars, not guns. 

2016 we approach wiser than before
2016 we will better by bringing our best to the fore.

Wish you all Health, Wealth and Success in your passions,
And above all Love, Happiness and Peace in abundance.

- 31 December 2015

- Generally I give references, but this time Google it, guys. I only referred to VERY famous incidents.

- And as a very perceptive reader (Thank you Aseet) pointed out, skipped Ghar Wapsi. 

- Actually I have skipped ODES more.