Anusha's Ramblings

'Baited'

2011-11-09T22:52:00.001+05:30

A gala time to be had,

Friends meet after a really long while.

The jokes, the old college kid repartee,

The smiles, the comfort, the nostalgic glee.

Then the conversation turns, as they always do,

To the future that each looks forward to.

The single ones targeted for not stepping up,

For not sipping from the ‘opportunities’ cup.

Why is marriage the ‘be all’ of society?

Why can’t singles be ever deemed happy?

Why is such a fuss made of marital responsibility?

Why is a ‘significant other’ so very necessary?

Why is true sharing to be only between lovers?

Why is plain friendship not enough revered?

Why does ‘your family’ begin with your spouse?

Why is any other view point met with a grouse?

It hurts at times to be always told to confirm,

That one is foolish to hold onto beliefs so firm,

That one is not truly successful or prosperous or joyful,

If one is not married, or looking to be part of a couple.

I may not always explain my rationale,

But aren’t I entitled to be what I, anyway, dare?

Isn’t it enough that I consider myself sated?

Why must I for my ‘lack’ be baited?

- -Written on Tuesday, November 8, 2011. Self Explanatory.

Prads' Midnight Call

2011-02-19T16:54:00.002+05:30

Wow! Tales of this wanderer
Cease to amaze me never.
Why do I some story always hear
From any S'pore traveller?
Prads, yours is the umpteenth,
However, unique.

Rush hour traffic panic, by a cop flayed,
Then flight delayed and excess baggage!
Gone- money and so the Lindt Dark Chocolate
''What will Easwar think, I'm empty handed?!''
He didn't know, dude. He wudn't anyway care
Too much, he is not so addicted to the Lindt fare.

But, now that this msg reaches him, I plead he ensure,
That he makes u buy ltr both dark choc and liqueur.
For me Easwar, pretty please.
For me being awakened, for me, Prads fleece.
He feels so guilty, u can easily make him weep,
Capture it on film, a treasure I can keep.

Fool, Stupid, Idiot - of course, I
Who started this entire thing/mess? - I

Best wishes guys,
God save you.

-Written on 19 February 2011 at 12:45 am
- Self Explanatory right? Easwar do the honours.

Splash!

2011-01-23T21:25:00.002+05:30

Splash! we enter this world.
Splash! we are cleansed at birth.
Splash! we revel in games.
Splash! we wake to a new day.
Splash! we feel refreshed.
Splash! we focus afresh.
Splash! we wash away our tears.
Splash! we overcome our fears.
Splash! we our courage renew.Splash! we look forward to.

Splash! we now shudder.
Splash! we are infused with horror.
Splash! you ended our hope.
Splash! you cut life's rope.
Splash! we will forever be haunted
Splash! is this what you wanted?

- Written on 21 January 2010.
Yesterday, we got the news that my cousin had died purpotedly by jumping into a water body.

A friend inspired me to create This site that u may come to hate B'coz ramblings will all it will ever have For I am the queen of crap. But don't worry - if it gets too much I can delete this blog at the press of a button ;)

What do you do

2010-10-30T19:39:00.000+05:30

What do you do
When hard earned money goes down the drain?
What do you do
When the sweat you put in seems to be in vain?
What do you do
When someone you trust flicks your wallet?
What do you do
When your faith in humanity is your downfall's pellet?
What do you do
When then for your 'carelessness' you are shouted at?
What do you do
To make your parents understand, you are not that bad?!
What do you do
When you lose money you'd saved up for something special?
What do you do
When because of you your friend doesn't get his thank you medal?
What do you do
When the crime eats away at your confidence?
What do you do
When you dream of notes that you now wish you would already spent?
What do you do
When you know you are going to forego many many things to make up?
What do you do
When you know that even such drudgery is a lost cause?
What do you do
When your angst has no space to be shown?
What you do
Is that you write a rhyme and make your friends for their choice mourn. :)

-Written on 30 October 2010
- Self- Explanatory. Some one in college flicked my wallet from my cavernous bag. And people state that things can get lost in there. I was shocked that things get lost from there :)

Do you not want me?

2010-07-27T23:14:00.002+05:30

Do you not realize,

That I’m forever by your side?

Do you not hear me,

Do I speak that softly?

Why don’t you listen,

To my words that with love glisten?

I will be there as your shadow

When to bed you go.

I will be the one who will stay

When you wake up at night afraid.

I will be the one to give you company

When in sorrow you most need empathy.

Do you not feel me,

Yearning for you to perceive me?

Do you not understand,

The messages that I send?

Do you not want me,

The one true friend indeed?

I will be there when you want me not,

Waiting for you to crave my charm.

I will never utter a single complaint or deter

You from ignoring me. Using me. Willfully.

I will be there for you forever,

In death and life, I am your server.

Notice me. Welcome me. Cherish me.

Adore me. Desire me. Smile for me.

Possess me. Be possessed by me.

Think of me. Do not fill me.

Do you recognize me?

I am SILENCE. …………………………………………………………I am happy.

- Why I wrote this? - I am a teacher. Do I need say more?

Oh Theory!

2010-06-03T00:31:00.001+05:30

Oh Theory! The bane of human existence,
One knows not what is something's essence,
States this ignorance
In many a complex sentence,
Though academicians modern state their intolerance
They persist in indulging in this preponderance.
We wonder why of inanity there is so much prevalence,
Yet, for eons we cannot see theory's evanescence.
:P

- Written on 3 June at 12:30 am
- In response to a friend's status message claiming that she hates reading theory at 12 in the night, Depises it at 12 in the afternoon and ignores it the rest of the time. Well all that theorising Miss Brill Scholar leads to so many of your own noteworthy accomplishments :) Keep at it :)

Passing Fad

2010-05-14T19:20:00.002+05:30

On the right side of my window is a skyscraper
An ad that beckons me to the Himalayan treasure.
Just below is an offer
For weight loss - a medical wonder.
Another window provides
Links to restaurants with epicurean delights.

All I want is to respond to my mail,
But in closing these boxes, in that I fail.
Watch a drab soap opera on TV
There is the squeeze back to tempt the greedy.
News channels have a subscription ad
I regret this is here to stay, this "passing fad".

"What do I do then?" - I enjoy
The soul destroying creativity that's deployed.

- Written on 14 May 2010
- Self Explanatory. Am tired of pop-ups, squeeze backs, tickers for ads and so on, but c'est la vie so am trying to appreciate the ingenuity.

Innocuous Pleasure

2010-05-11T19:48:00.001+05:30

A child’s pleasure -
An innocuous treasure.
A treat, a bribe –
A parent’s respite.

The most gifted
The most loved
The mud coloured delight
Makes most people’s day bright.

How then do I cope
Remembering the dear soul
Wrought to an end choking
On a chocolate of all things?

- Written on 11 May 2010
- Amrit, I still can’t quite believe you are not amongst us anymore.

To Amrit

2010-05-10T23:26:00.004+05:30

A lanky boy on the second last bench,
With ever a smiling face
Earnest, sincere, yet mischievous
I'll never forget his assignment with the "f....." phrase.

A bus ride with him as your companion
Could mean a second degree inquisition.
Polite yet confident, he would know the reasons
Why I was not married yet, what were my ambitions.

With other students ‘shush’ing him, an apology
He SMSed later, for overstepping boundaries, if any.
Coming in on a rainy day with a badly hurt foot
To see a Culture Studies class movie, though he was excused!

Early morning phone calls to state
Excuses for a project delayed.
Never let me down though when it mattered
Optimistic, easy-going, rarely dejected.

So many snapshots of him that I recollect:
A toy on the ceiling, a career guidance request,
Working harder when I would his assignment reject,
Mostly teasing Deepti to misery abject.

As semesters passed, he only got thinner
I teased him even about fading away altogether.
Today, a sad day for all, that we will no more see this bright spark
Yet, can I truly state that, when he resides in our heart?

-I will miss you Amrit Bansal – For me you will ever be associated with 7 – your Roll No. when you joined FY.
- Written on 10 May 2010.

Farmville reports replace FB status updates

2010-04-26T20:56:00.000+05:30

"What's your problem with uploading status updates?
Why is FV all that I see on your page? "
Well to answer the query, I must plead,

Status requires thought , while FV is TP.
I'm in a phase where I don't wanna think.
Can't maybe truer, but why be grim.

FV's mindnumbing enough requiring merely a click,
Waiting endlessly for page reloads is an activty fix.
I know this won't last endlessly, I have started to write,
And I may soon desist from activity on FV and the like.
Till then, but, my friends, be prepared to see
FV updates galore, with Causes breaking the monotony. :)

-Written on 22 April 2010
- The reasons are self-explanatory. I have been accused of being addicted to fv bypassing fb. :) I dunno abt dat, bt d chat lang dfts me.

Happy 4th Wedding Anniversary

2010-04-22T00:51:00.002+05:30

A day when we rejoiced with friends
That two of ours had their bonds strengthened.
A day when a voice rang out with conviction
As she said 'I Do' with typical theatrical enunciation. :)
A day when the quieter voice still
Stated his commitment to love's promises fulfill.

Four years have passed since then
Their bond has served as others' inspiration.
More of our group have married
One of them of has had a kid.
This couple, however, stays on as the group's foci
Here's to wishing them a bon voyage on this year 5.

- Written on 21 April 2010.
- A day in advance for the very obvious reason. Shrads-Mat here's 2 U from all of us Untouchables. :)
-

A Late Night Call

2010-04-20T00:30:00.002+05:30

Up late night on g-chat,
At the world hitting back,
Wondering aloud about options new,
A friend says call now, I'm here for you.

Late night, hectic schedules, documents to be worked on, early morning gym,
All forgotten in the hope that he might brighten my world dim.
Listens, listens and listens some more
As I express with sound effects many an inner furore.

I say good night finally, my problems still unresolved
But a peace that lightens my mind I have found
I hope he could sleep and his work tomorrow go about
For I now know that with such friends my problems are not so fraught.

- Written on 20 April 2010
- After a telcon with Easwar, the white knight riding to the rescue over airwaves. :) He knows what I am talking about :)

2010-04-12T16:17:00.001+05:30

'Run! Don't look back!"
"Wait! Always watch your back!"
"Attack! Don't just stand and stare."
"Defend! Never provoke another's dare."

The tennis ball aced around
Is not hit so well into the ground.
How do I explain my ditherance
When I am never met with forbearance?

I run and watch my back
Invariably lose my place on the track.
I attack and then defend
About being sure of myself I pretend.

Why do we confuse
Our children with our views?
When we ourselves have no answer
As to how to be a successful player.

Yet, I listen with bated breath
For the next formula to beat failure to death
I even follow at times
Then I pay for my crimes.

Do I learn? Of course not!
Why would I when advisors abound?
Sureshot methods I am often taught
Seems like I am the exception to the rules fraught.

An appeal here to you all
Tell me again once and not for all
How do I succeed
In making my dreams flower from seed?

-Written on 10 April 2010 - typed directly onto the blog :)
-Yes, another advice that I sent down the drain, thanks to my ineptitude. I live in hope that I may someday learn, but so far hope in vain.

My morning

2010-04-07T17:44:00.005+05:30

The rush early in the morning,
The need to be alone,
The desire to sleep for a few hours more,
The tiredness that oozes from every single pore.

Catching a bus as late as can be
Leaning forward, willing it on, as it inches slowly.
Forgetting your book, but for a kind samaritan,
Miscounting change for your fare, that is happily returned.

Running through halls, violating decorum,
Rumbles in your stomach making you yearn for food yum,
Hair askew, more than it usually is,
Breathless, panting, one finally reaches.

'No lectures today. Sorry, you are not on call.
We should have informed you, but we unfortunately stalled.'
Curses hover, waiting to be screamed out.
You nod, you smile, say you understand when you patently do NOT.

Then you think,
'Thanks to this respite, could I catch a few winks?'
The answer is 'NO'. You have a price to pay
You were so stressed out, that though exhausted you are wide awake.

-Written on 6 April 2010.
- Self-explanatory don't you think? :P

2009-05-21T00:13:00.002+05:30

Can the USA ever stand competition?
Is this fear behind their new found Pak-compassion?
Supported India against China's gainsay,
But it is a superpower on its own today,
Where Chinese communism could never win it allies many,
India's secularism has won friends already.
Nuclear deals struck are now a pain,
Pakistan's accession is suddenly a gain,
A country that's sponsored terrorism,
It deserves more than Iran's defiance.

- Written on 20 May 2009
- Refer to Hillary Clinton's statement granting aid to Pakistan, taking back the statements she had made a month ago deploring the administrative system in the said country!!!!!!!!!!! Two facedness Zindabad!!!!!!!!

India with Gandhi

2009-05-16T19:09:00.003+05:30

Welcome stability,
End fragmented polity,
Give a party support to shine,
Do your civic duty and do not whine,
The people of India have to a large extent,
Seem to have worked out their intent
And voted for the least militant.
Hooray! No more 24 hours of news,
Cagey politicians being asked their views,
Introspection called for naturally,
The mass seems to have hood winked even the punidits' wizardry.
Cheers Young India! the party that's come to power
Is most representative of the Indian hour.
Ramchandra Guha may well now write
India with Gandhi and The BJP's f(r)ight.

Hip Hip Hooray!!!! :)

-Written on 16th May 2009

Response to Easwar's Comment on the previous post - Love...

2009-05-09T10:35:00.003+05:30

A piece of advice kindly given
Without realising its repercussion.
If I start commenting on Indian politics
The world would be deeper in the pits.
I have a mixed strain of idealism and pragmatism
It is a cocktail that smacks of just impressionism.
Details get conveniently bypassed many a time
That I am laziness personified only aids the crime.
Dear cousin, I am certainly not an authority,
However, when I strongly feel, I do try writing poetry :)
AND when I do not even regularly BLOG about everyday events
How, pray, do you justify your suggestion, for many a punishment?

- Written on 9 May 2009

Love as an aid to self-destruction

2009-05-08T14:20:00.006+05:30

I just saw The Believer. It got me thinking a bit more. Last night as I sat typing questions and formulating explanatory answers late into this morning I also kept shuffling the various news channels that had repeat telecasts of 9PM news at 2:30 AM. After a point I felt that they did not really care about what they had to communicate.

The purpose was to fill the air time. There were no debates. Everyone knew what the other party would say and since we have so many experienced politicians who never to seem to let go we have been hearing the same speech almost verbatim for the past many years. The Congress perhaps helped us poor citizens a bit by allowing Jyotiraditya and Sachin Pilot to speak. That they entrusted youngsters to damage control what another "youngster" Rahul Gandhi had wrought was ironical. Of course, they could always backtrack from any political goof-ups by stating novices do not know what the experienced and the 'truly' powerful leaders in the Congress are about etc. etc. Master move, I think.

I also think that the media is a bit more in love with Rahul Gandhi as they have been gagged a bit themselves by the Election Office and can question the politicians on the various hints that "the young Rahul" has shared with them. Is he being "naive" or "shrewd"? The focus is firmly on the Congress as a result. Whatever the various parties may be thinking of Congress is never far from their minds.

The BJP seems to have it down to a pat. As Sachin Pilot pointed out, they will tell what is wrong with the Congress, what the Congress wants, what the Congress should do, what the other parties allied with the Congress or formerly allied with them want or should do, how hypocritical the Congress is, how opputunistic it is and so on and so forth without once focusing on "what is right with the BJP" and what are their strategies etc. With Rudy only confirming everything that Sachin had stated in his answers to Barkha Dutt, one feels that be the Congress in power or not, they are the ones establishing the government. They will be the ones to help form the government by adhering to their principled stand (Manmohanji is our PM) or by merrily eschewing this for higher "moral" grounds of keeping the BJP out of power which could well be about the only thing they learnt from the Left in their long association.

I wonder what will happen. But as my brother says, whatever be the outcome is it going to truly affect the mass in any positive manner? For that I suggest we re-read Freakonomics to know how a single event can shape the trends of the coming generations.

As for the reason I began by saying that I saw The Believer, there is a reason for that. I had had similar thoughts last night (I will share below) that the anti-hero expressed even better in this complexly wonderful film. He says something to the effect that the only way to destroy the Jews is to "love them. Sincerely." They only answer they cannot take is a 'yes'. If Hitler had not happened they would have invented him!!!!!! I thought these lines were wonderful.

India has long been looked down upon, we struggled then to build our nation, but any time we seem to go through times of peace and prosperity, we sure seem to go all out to destroy ourselves. We do not need foreign leaders to ruin us, we have proven that we do not even need Indian leaders to ruin us, the urban middle class that has risen through the cracks of prosperity will ensure that these cracks remain and in fact become larger. They will not go and vote and the politicians who feared these members coming out in full strength happily excuse them with reasons like long weekends and hot weather. I fully endorse the lines in The Believer if applied to the Indian context. Love us to help us destroy ourselves :)

Well my piece composed at 3:30 AM reads:

I wonder what the state of Congress will be
As it desperately fights the effects of incumbency?
Mamata vs. Brinda, Mulayam or Maya
Who will help form the government - DMK or Jaya?

Will swords be sheathed temporarily
Only to be weilded at times of power sharing calamity?
Will enemies be allies and vice versa
Will we see the results of a new political diaspora?

Will Rahul Gandhi's speech come to haunt him
Or will it be remarked upon later for its political wisdom?
For now, the Congress is in the limelight
Other parties are media-hounded to rethink their strategies in this fight.

Will we ever have parties truly secular
Or will we forever adhere to notions that are currently popular?
Independents are the flavour of the season
What matters if their win or loss does not truly serve the nation?

We need a party that will be strong
To take the right decisions in face of all wrongs.
Such courage works best when supported
But alas! our young citizens have not adequately voted.

Come Terrorism, Come recession,
Come corruption, Come pollution
Come crime, Come evil,
Our protests are short lived and very feeble.

We will accept any government - The shakier, the better
Just give us reason to crib louder and longer.
Maoist, Democratic, Republican or even Talibani
Do not bother us about politics, we are only 'aam aadmi'.

We will suffer poverty and lack of liberty
We shine becuase of these you see.
Afterall, it's Slumdog and the NASA Swades
That truly represents our Indian race.

Personal triumphs guided by luck is better
Than working hard as a community to prosper.
Worthy of your salutations, WE ARE INDIANS,
We have no enemies, who can better our self-destructive millions?

-Written on 8 May 2009.

Incommunicado period hopefully past

2009-04-15T13:44:00.002+05:30

Hey guys,

I have got mails, smses, and or calls asking me what I have been upto and if I am even alive. While I did not realise I had been that lackadiasical in my communication that you would wonder about my state of existence I do apologise for not being in touch and hope that you all know that if you had needed me I was just a phone call away. So what have I been upto huh.. well

First there was this buliding that I stay in
The BMC ruled that 30 years old and more and it might cave in
So began structural repairs partial
The top floor flat we live in was deemed experimental
Since we live on salt commission land
If the building falls the place will be out of our hands
So the repairs were begun with many false starts
As South Indians we had to be stingy with the costs
A whole wall fell in our bedroom
Mosquitoes galore that night on our blood we groomed
A part of the drawing room wall was the next to be demolished
By that time we had almost got used to our blood needing to be repienished
Hammers and tongs above our flat was not enough
As the terrace got redone we had to have not seepage but flood.
As our newly painted walls cropped up new designs
My brother and I almost decided to disown our family ties
Unfortunately my mother had instilled values
We stayed on and even helped the workers in the mileu
So it goes on even now
We water our walls as our plants are gone
We dust the dust on the dust covering the dust of our stuff
Our CPU languishes in our technician's shop filled with dust and what not
Our AC and stuff we do not even want to touch
We fear they will crumble with all they have endured.
Somehow the brave TV and washing machine soldier on
We take our blessings, whereever they are found.

Of ocurse it is not enough that I wake up to Dust and sleep in Dust
Since I teach at various colleges, projects and stuff carry home I must
Then correct them and then dust them and then store them and then dust them
Meetings and travel will come my way
I will brave the pollution and population fray
Work on not just the weekdays but weekends too
Public Holidays just meant there was time to catch up do
Lectures that begin at 7 am and some that end at 10 pm
A parcel of life that I have wilfully chosen
How do I complain when I was the one to gainsay
The saner voices that I now wish I had allowed to prevail?
I earned a bit more and spent a lot more on travel
I came across many whom I taught who are far more sensible.
Projects of editing and constructing reports I could not say 'NO' to
My doctor's advice though I constantly did NOT adhere to
Sheer common sense does not accompany the genius see
I have grand delusions about my abilities.

Then I decided that enough was enough
So many years that I have spent sheltered and cossetted
I had made a decision: I would go out more and meet my friends
Late nights if need be I would not forsake
In fights with my folks I would partake
Freedom, however, was my birthright
I am, by God, going to finally it enjoy.
So kind of my friends that they arranged
Weddings and functions and parties for me to hold my sway
Daring I went and fun I had so what if a few hours sleep was also set aside
Memories I made and spent more time and energy on travel on again
Rickshawalas and taxi guys are a smart lot I learned as politics and waht not we discussed on our way
Kala Ghoda was fun too.
Of my poor cousin I made full use
His good nature I admire
As he spent more time trying to ignore my tired sighs.
Cakes and samosas and jalebis and pizzas
I have partied hard this winter past

While still not accomplishing much I have done more than ever before
I am proud of myself, please this time my selfishness ignore
The year upcoming I will try to be more organised
And for mails and calls too I will time prioritise.
You were there in my thoughts a few moments here and there
But time flew past before I could my thoughts with you share.
I am trying to do better as you can see
To be more outgoing and a better friend be
A slow learner I admit, however, I will succeed surely.

I hope that you guys will also contibute and teach me
How you mange to accomplish so much so unassumingly.

Apologies and Love
Anusha

- Written on 15 April 2009

Kala Ghoda 2009

2009-02-11T00:21:00.004+05:30

So many days past since this feeling
Debilitated me till I was almost past thinking
The pain was just too much to bear
Perhaps all the more so as I had ceased to care
That perhaps I could fall prey
And so should control any foray
Into the world yonder
Even if I had few wishes fonder.
Yet, years of experience came handy
When I thought I would fall I made out like all was dandy
I don’t know that I fooled anyone
But at least no one was compelled to question
Yet, despite the faintness, the pain
I would want this day all over again
Snatches of the day flash past
I smile and want to hold the moments fast.

I had a laugh in my heart through the day
Even if I had not my happiness always brayed.
There are records my cousin took
That I had my usual staidness at times forsook
These only lend credence
That this day had a hollowed sense.
I remember snatches of colour and taste
I know in memories I will happily relive the day
Flora fountain spouted water
What but happiness then could the day harbour?
Samovar baingan bartha that was spicier than assured
Jehangir Art Gallery where paintings were appreciated
For hours we laughed at some of the awardees
Wondered aloud why they could not mean what they seemed
Gasped at some of the price ranges
Even as we enjoyed the air conditioner
The collages were truly wonderful,
A woman looking over her shoulder
Hands held behind her back, filled my cousin with wonder
Some landscapes and the Mumbai based representations
Made us sigh and placed every clue in the frames
The pavement gallery housed art that was base and splendour
Easwar of course had to experiment with snaps and a mirror
Moshe’s chocolate ecstasies were to die for
We whiled away time in the Fabindia coffee bar.
Then back to the Kala Ghoda and more pictures
A Ganesha made of cycle scrap,
A man blaring his industrial angst,
Multi colored buckets, taps and windows
All photographed in clever ways
Bubbles, Chai’na in trunks,
Metal creatures dispelling any funk
Glimpsing performances, Friends greeting,
Catching up, though not always talking
Sharing, communicating; different from the surface discourse
Do I want a repeat? You betcha. Of course! :)

- Caught up with Easwar on10 Feb 2009 on a day long wished and planned for at the 11th Kala Ghoda Festival. All I wanna say is thanks Bro. It was a marvellous day that I enjoyed thoroughly.
Still wonder what the balloon stuck half way with red glaze paper was supposed to represent and wish we could have tried the chocolate mudpie as well :)) Thanks for the treat.

Adieu 2008 Welcome 2009

2009-01-01T18:17:00.002+05:30

It was a year when we shined in the Olympics
It was a year that nuclear power was ushered in overcoming political dynamics.
It was a year when unexpected results were yielded
To showcase how strongly the Indian spirit is welded.
A year when courage was show through actions
A year when people of all walks felt every event's repercussions.
A year when unity was newly forged
A year that sowed the seeds of change for years henceforth.
A year in which we learnt much
Never was or will there be a year such.
Welcome 2009 we hope that you bring
A season of hope and joy may you ever spring.

May 2009 herald Love and Peace
May it usher in Prosperity
May health be a constant friend
May all adventures have a happy end.

Happy New Year folks :)

Will there be a day...

2008-11-12T22:10:00.003+05:30

Will there be a day
When there will be no race
When no one will recognize
If you are black or otherwise?
Will ever there be a time
When there won’t be racist crime?
Will we ever face
That God made us with grace?
Will we boundaries ever erase
And each other embrace
When we resent not each other
As we tolerate our blood brother
When there be peace, if not love
When caste and creed is a discarded glove
When we recognize the I in another
And realise that we are a reflection of the other?
Will there be such a dawn
For which we all so very much long?
Will we ever, ever
Live as one together?

- Written on 12 November 2008
- I dunno why, maybe the Obama inspired articles are finally having their effect.

Satan’s Followers

2008-10-22T19:41:00.001+05:30

Lonely in the midst of a class
Did not know how I could carry on.
Grappling with time’s choking grasp
I also tried to not the world let on.

I am not even sad for myself, in fact, I am content
With my very meager achievements.
I do feel some sympathy for my brother,
But beyond a point I only admire him as he is stronger.

Yet, at odd times visions haunt me
I cannot take him being so unhappy.
Does God test only the strong?
Do only the weak have the right to fool around?

Those who are sinned against
Will either themselves sin or life disdain.
IS this what you want Lord mine?
Satan’s followers whom you create and then destroy?

This reads like a computer game
One in which we are puppets depending on you to be sane.

- Written on 24 August 2008.
- My brother will hate me for this, but as I said he is strong. I feel this piece on this blog belongs.
-

Compare me to another…

2008-10-22T18:31:00.003+05:30

Compare me to another when I am being lazy
Don’t tell me that my short hair makes me ugly, is against femininity.

Compare me to another when I am being an idiot
Don’t tell me off for vociferously opposing a riot.

Compare me to another when I am mean to someone
Don’t tell me off when fight suppression.

Compare me to another when I overstep boundaries
Don’t tell me off for refusing responsibility for another’s sins.

Compare me to another for being less smart
Don’t tell me off for merely not studying at dawn.

Compare me to another for being less efficient
Don’t tell me off for choosing my own right way of accomplishment.

Compare me to another for being loud and argumentative
Don’t tell me off for not being submissive.

Compare me to another for not being punctual
Don’t tell me off for questioning the reason for performing a ritual.

Compare me to another for lacking comportment
Don’t tell me off for choosing simplicity over adornment.

Compare me to another if I do not have the sportsman's spirit
Don’t tell me off when I play or dance and give it my very best (albeit poor) shot.

Compare me to another if I overspend on a regular base
Don’t tell me off for the odd impulsive purchase.

Compare me to another when I don’t live up to my claim
Don’t tell me off for fulfilling a promise despite the strain.

Compare me to another if I exaggerate my illnesses
Don’t tell me off for even those complaints that I understate.

Compare me to another when I am being insensitive
Don’t tell me off for my alternate perspective.

Compare me to another for my faults
Don’t tell me off for your perceived flaws.

Compare me to another if you must – Consistently
Don’t tell me off and praise me for the same deed, just as you please.

- Written on 21 October 2008.
- A conversation with a cousin triggered me to complete this long past written draft. I just typed in a poem I had in me since my preteen years. A thought I had articulated when in college, but not recorded as I have now.
- I think I thought better then and write worse now :)

After a Long time

2008-09-08T17:07:00.002+05:30

Well may you ask why I absented myself for such a long time. That is the truble with me, I am never regular at anything unless rules and regulations accompany it and even then I find my way around these things.

Sharing my thoughts is something I always do, however, writing them down does not seem to be as much fun as reveling in them in my private domain - my thoughts. :)

What have I been upto? Not much. Will I get back to the story of Untouchables? Likely. Now? No. Soon? We will see.

I have an offering here though. A poem. After so many prosaic pieces in prose one boring offering in rhyme.

Here goes:

If I can't be free
In my very own country;
I will free my mind
And soar in the skies high,
And with my intellect will unbind
The shackles that freeze my land in retro time.

My land burns, my people suffer
But with (c)ru(e)lers I cannot my opinions differ.
At every point I've to justify my rationality
I've to prove my patriotism while arguing for a different, improved nationality.

The media - channels and papers - never let up.
In their quest to get one up
I am a source
For them to improve their TRP force.

I can speak up as long as I do not hurt the 'rationalists'
Or I will be branded 'unpatriotic, worse than those terrorists'.
But I can soar in my mind and heart and I will
I will strive to tolerance in these (c)rulers instill.

I do not expect them to change, for I know I will not myself.
I only wish they would give me the space to be my own opinionated self.
I know i am lucky, luckier than most.
At least of my ability to think thus (freely) I can boast.

In this 61st year of Independence I celebrate
The deep-rooted conviction to liberate - to tolerate.

- Written on 28 August 2008.
(I think the Shabana Azmi controvery finally got to me). :)

Memories - Memoirs

2008-04-02T20:00:00.002+05:30

There are times when 5 min of a power cut seems like ages and then there are times when a power cut just allows me to revisit old haunts, revision interesting events and rethink my philosophies. I love whiling away hours with just my thoughts for company. I can just loll around the bed or even stare at a wall or TV or comp screen or even a book and take off on tangents in my mind. I fly to distant places and people. Not foreign, not always, but distant. Removed from this time and space by a few years. They may be remembrances or they may be dreamscapes of the future. It is a lot of fun most of the time.

However, because I love my mindscapes and live in them so often, I rarely know for sure if my memories are fact or fiction. I read somewhere that memories often change shape and are fashioned by what we choose to remember. Some of are better at repressing or reshaping memories than others. Hypnosis and many branches of psychiatry work successful on this premise.

Now why am I rambling about memories instead of engaging with them? Well, a friend asked me to jot down memories of our college days. I do not know if I can record them. So this is my way of engaging with the task.

My Art Gallery

2008-03-26T09:33:00.004+05:30

Can you see on the wall the tree?
How it dances, how it weaves?

Black has so many shades you know,
It makes you appreciate the colours more.

Darkness needs light to showcase its beauty.
While light needs darkness to shine brightly.

So when the power is cut for an hour or two,
Kickback and enjoy the live art show.

-Written on March 25, 2008
- Yes, yet another power cut, but only for a couple of hours. I enjoyed the trees dancing on the wall. As cars passed by at times there were more colours and shapes changed even. The music of insects humming outside, the swish of cars speeding by, the absolute silence, the peace... it was better than meditation according to me. :)

A Conversation Revisited

2008-03-23T14:12:00.005+05:30

I recently attended a talk (interactive session) on ‘Animation and its Role in Society’. Up stands a social analyst and Senior Editor and comments that animations are spoiling the ethos of society and need to first educate mothers, since they park their children in front of cartoons and go about their work. It annoyed me to see so many nods in the audience and amused me to see the flummoxed animator from USA wondering how animations were responsible for poor availability of child care. The following is a record of a conversation I had with this so very concerned individual:

I questioned the veracity of the comment that ‘mothers’ parked their kids in front of TV. I stated that I was sure he meant ‘parents’.

No the mother is the prime care taker and she absconds from this great responsibility by either hiring others (in USA even teenagers!) to do work she should be doing. She does not seem to realize that kids learn values and ethics from their parents.

I remarked that since they (kids) learn values and such from their ‘parents’, perhaps the father too should be involved in the child care and thereby is equally responsible for ‘the deterioration of society’ as is claimed by such an esteemed analyst?

But you do not understand, or more likely refuse to understand, the mother is the primary care taker, all said and done.

Sure, till the child is about 2 at most, if you consider breast feeding etc. Then, anyone can take of the child. Or are men not competent?

Of course, men are competent, but they have to work as well. When do they take care of the child?

What about women? Do they not work? When would they fulfill their obligations?

They have household help for such things. And the market is inundated with appliances for their convenience. Yet, you all crib.

Since appliances do not, as yet, run on their own and subordinates (servants) do need monitoring, women do work as home managers these days and not maids, but nevertheless, they have work! Just as Finance MBAs are not glorified accountants according esteemed people, or that editors do not work less than reporters who actually file stories; so too women do not just have ‘conveniences’ and no responsibilities. ( I was desperately trying to be cool and collected at this point).

See you are veering away from the topic. It began with social responsibility of animations.

No sir, I am very much within the topic. Since gender sensitivity is part and parcel of society and it s needs, attitudes like yours need to be questioned.

See, the fact of the matter is children are not taken care of properly and watch cartoons that do not teach them values adequately. While women may have other responsibilities as well, we need to realize that children are our priority.

When do cartoons get televised in India? I mean on regular channels. And which are the popular timings for cartoons?

Evenings and weekends generally. Which is why I do not understand why children are parked in front of the TV? Now you cannot claim that women are working!

Of course, I can claim that! They are busy with household chores.

Household chores!!!!!! What chores? Everything is done for them.

Ok. Even if I grant this point. And I do agree with you that children should not have been parked in front of the TV and they should have someone entertaining them in other ways.
See. I am right.

Yes. Of course. Why whatever are the men, also at home at this time, doing? When children learn values etc from their parents, why are the fathers not teaching them? They have chores and no priorities???

Well, women have always been the traditional caretakers.

Hmm. Joint families have also been traditional systems. We no longer follow them.

Exactly. Women have broken this system that allowed them to share chores and take care of their children better. And now the poor children are suffering.

Hmm. When the woman is wed she goes to her husband’s place?

Yes. (impatiently)

Mostly, in India at least, if the guy is staying in the same town as his parents, he stays with his parents. Boys always feel this strong responsibility to take care of their parents.
Am I wrong?

No no. Indian children always are dutiful.

In that case, the joint family system is only broken when the guy moves away. His job leads him to new places and the wife goes along with him as is tradition. So the joint family has broken down into a nuclear family only because of guys and not women.

Men need better jobs for their families. (Desperately. Did I mention that this guy’s parents are elder brother and in Latur and he with his nuclear family is in Mumbai due to his job? Well consider it said.)

Of course. But the women have not broken down the system. And the ones responsible for taking away the child rearing support system themselves do nothing to supplement the shortage as peak time for cartoons are exactly when these considerate, family loving group is at home. Ergo, parents, i.e. fathers and mothers, are responsible for any ‘deterioration of society’ and cartoons are not a cause of such. (I look at him for his point).

(I am met with silence. Angry silence. And a refusal to concede verbally, even for now.)

(I rest my case. )

– I am also not satisfied with this dialogue for obvious reasons. I am only butting my head against a people who refuse to grow up and realize that men and women are equal; that men can nurture as well as women and that women can be as personally ambitious as men. Neither choice is wrong, unless it hurts the person concerned. Even family and friends have to recognize this right to choose happiness that does not aim to hurt other people. Personal goals are not wrong, whether they involve being a homemaker or a gardener or a scientist or a business person.
– One cannot be happy in relationships if one is not satisfied with the person one is and the goals one has achieved. Why can’t people understand this instead of forcing down compromises that individuals are not ready for. If someone is going to thank you for your choice 2 years down the line, why force the person to abide by your decision today? In 2 years the concerned individual is going to happily choose your path anyway right? This is the age of second chances. Allow people to take them.
– My parents argue that if a child is committing a mistake, parents of curse must rectify it. True. But to what extent do you correct a child? A child fights with his/her best friend. You advice. You can encourage them to make up. But if they don’t, you leave them be. Other friends will come along. And the child will learn form this mistake to never take anyone else for granted. You force them to interact and you would most probably ruin the friendship. If a child is envious of another person’s achievements, you do not preach envy is a sin; you teach the child to achieve in one or the other field and to take pride in its achievements. The envy will automatically disappear.
– Similarly, with adults. Why force them when you can guide them to voluntarily choosing the path that is ‘correct’ for them? Why force sacrifices? Why not allow them to reorganize priorities at their own speed? Why not respect individuality?
– I am not talking about values or such philosophical things. I am concerned with the right to choose careers or life partners or even what to eat today.

– Written on March 22, 2008.

Modern Times are Coming Around…

2008-03-23T12:41:00.003+05:30

“Boys may kindly ‘help’ around, girls do the housework
Of course society has progressed.”
“Guys are such little boys
Their macho needs can be easily humored.
Girls are so mature
Why bother splitting hairs?”
“You, girl, are too controlling
What will you do after the wedding?”
“How dare you, girl, ask a guy who dominates
What he will do if his wife retaliates?”
“Girl, don’t laugh so loud, it’s unbecoming.
Boys hurl abuses to only let off steam”
“Work hard, but don’t be proud.
Humility is a virtue and its own reward.”
“A boy has his pride and it has to be protected,
If he is angry, it is because he is deeply offended.”
“If a girl is out late,
She is a loose character of the worst sort!”
“If it is a boy though, who reaches home late
He is sowing wild oats, don’t snort!”
“Can you believe she ran away,
‘To chase her dreams’? – Such an ingrate.”
“Did you hear he fought with his parents and parted ways?
So independent, wanted to establish himself in his own way.”
“Guys crave adventure
They roam the world over.”
“Girls are steady,
They hold together the family.”
“If not anchored, guys will drift away,
That is why homes and names of girls are changed.”
“Girls adapt to change, by and large.
Take guys away from their hearths and they’ll be lost.”
Hey! These are not my statements.
Guys are equal to gals is the modern opinion.
The above quotes are the traditional view.
I am a modern. How about you?

– Written on March 21, 2008
– The poem is pathetic and fails abysmally in rhyme, structure and anything that defines poetry. However, my thoughts flowed this way and so here it is.
– I have been either reading books and articles, or viewing films, or hearing comments from people that it is so nice that boys these days help around the house. The very same books/films/people also manage to imply that the girl who is not satisfied looking after her hearth and home is a character to be pitied. She will later repent her ambitious choices. I wonder why the same is not said of guys. Why not ask them to seek contentment in compromising professionally to take care of hearth and home? They can and should make such compromises for their parents, for their religion even, and even if they do compromise for their children and/or life partner, it is made clear that they are making a sacrifice to satisfy their conscience and they are thereby great heroes. However, the woman who makes such a compromise is merely one who knows where her priorities lie and it is not as much a sacrifice as it is a rearrangement of plans to gain sublime happiness!!!!!!! Bull shit. I am still in an angry mode.

In response to Comment on MA Education in Hindi

2008-03-11T08:03:00.002+05:30

While I agree that English is becoming the medium of communication globally, one must understand that we have in our education system a large section of the society who study in their vernacular. They in fact form the majority of our population. Do we deny them the need to think more theoretically by denying htem access to tertiary texts in their language?

Why is India so obssessed with educating its people in English anyway? So many countries worldwide have highly quaified thinkers and doers who know only their native language and are not conversant with English. However, the world gives them their due space. We translate texts into English French writings or German research or Japanese technologies and herald them as seminal works. These philosophers or researchers could not have possibly written such world wide acknowledged treatises in English. They also could not formulated their thoughts with such clarity and precision if they had been denied tertiary education in their own language.

Yet, in India, where we supposedly respect natie knowledge, we require the encoding of that knowledge to be in English. I think this paritiality exisits for one reason alone - to save costs. You see in our sector we do not want to spend too mch on education. Texts in English are difficult to source in tertiary education and when takes into account the costs of translating the requisite works into other languages and then publish them and distribute them..., why the cost is too prohibtive to imagine. We would rather have fewer articulate thinkers and doers than pay such exhorbitant prices to develop our future. However, since we cannot couch it in such terms, we state that this done so that no one is kept out of the circle of globalisation!!! That these thinkers and doers for whose ultimate benefit education in the vernacular is denied would anyway be kept out of the circle since they are not articulate enough in the new 'world language' is conveniently ignored.

We seem to not realise that language has a huge impact on the mind. There are a few feelings, thoughts that we primarily encode in our first language even if we have been exposed to other languages and have graduated to thinking almost exclusively in a language that is not part of our linguisitc community. The brain thinks pictorially, however, abstractions require to be worded. It is for this reason that children are not assumed to be able to think in the abstract. They who have limited access to language would naturally be not able to articulate their abstract thoughts. It is for this reason that deaf and dumb people were often termed dumb. Their access to any language was delayed and their stages of acquisition are more prolinged than those of a physically enabled child. However, today we recognise that we were the ones blind to the brilliance of some of these physically enabled people and are therefore keen on developing programmes that enable these people to access tertiary education in their own language. Yet, we refuse to extend the argument that language encodes thought and therefore limited access to language will also limit the thinking prowess of so many of our vernacular students.

We must also understand that proficiency in communicative English is not enough to be able to engage in texts that demand higher levels of discourse strategies. This requires fluency in the concerned language and fluency in thinking. The two are so interconnected that the lack in one is assumed to be the lack in the other. Genrally, we ignore the lack of language skills of a student and assume that it is their cognition that is average or below average. We understand, today, the difficulties of a dyslexic person. We understand that the person is merely deficient in picking up langauge skills, but is most likely to have above average intelligence. We are trying to include them in our study programmes. However, the average person who may not be skilled wnough to pick up two or more languages is denied his intelligence, because he is not able to engage with tertiary texts in a lnaguage not his own.

Given today's economic environments, the need to teach others to communicate in English is absolute. However, who decreed that individual research and philosophising must be articulated in English as well? If we look at models of countries that exhibit innovative thinking, we will find that most allow their people to study almost exclusively in their own language. I have met German Profs who speak more 'tukda' (broken) English and even the University peon manages to speak more competently in English. However, these Profs are highly acclaimed thinkers. Communication is achieved and their thoughts are shared with many because they were allowed to articulate in their language and now are improving their skills in the new 'world language' to communicate and not to philosophise or innovate.

Thinking is an extremely individual activity and to ensure that people be highly skilled in English to do manage in higher academia seems to me grossly unfair. At present, it is denying our country the treasures of knowledge encoded in one or the other vernacular. It demoralises an entire task force that is actively seeking recognition for its worth and is denied its rightful place of being considered an equal merely on the grounds of its incompetency in a particular langauge. In the future, I fear we will have lost many many languages. Today, there are many of us who do not know to read and write in mother tongue and have gradually lost our competency in languages like Hindi, which we did know to read and write in, simply because we think exclusively in the language of power - English. I doubt we will emphasise the importance our linguistic ethnicity to the ext generation, if we follow this trend. Even if we do stress that our vernacular be learnt, children most likely will not retain the language as their thoughts would be expressed primarlity in English. When a language is not worthy enough to articulate complex thoughts in and be recognised, then why teach it to children? Let them learn only the language that the world trades in. Let them learn only the English language.

Since languages encode cultures, with the death of languages, our cultures will be lost in the annals of history pages as well. The very structure of a language indicates the world views of its people. a very simple example would be the recognition of an object as masculine or feminine. It clearly encodes the paprameters of what constitutes masculine and what is feminine. While some might say there is all the more reason to switch to one of the most neutrally gendered languages of the world, English; we also would lose the ability to identify other living and non-living entities as equal to human life. The rules for the placement of an adjective before or after a noun is another example of structured world views. Does a particular linguistic community give more credence to a person, place etc., or is the description more valued? How important is abstraction to an average user of the language? Does a particular language allow for a more epigrammatic style of expression than another? Some languages follow more elaborate grammar rules than others indicating a highly evolved structure of governance within that community. Some tribal languages, for example, have fewer grammatical rules and their governance structure is also fairly primitive and simple. The examples I hve given are extremely basic and there are actually many more nuances to studying the realtionships between langauge, mind and society. However, I am sure you get my point about the importance of a language to any ethnic community.

In a world that is busy rediscovering its past to recover its future, we seem to be in a mighty hurry to erase our past that we have held on to for so long. Do we really want the death of our languages?

MA Courses in Regional languages?

2008-03-04T19:11:00.002+05:30

Well I am not sure what I wish to write. I have so many ideas buzzing in my head.

Meeting wonderful people at Seminars and Academic Meetings and Workshops is exhilarating and yet intimidating for I always come away with a sense of awe that I was lucky enough to be able to interact with such esteemed dignataries who are revered the world over for their knowledge in their fields and also a feeling of beig totally unworthy of the luck and a questioning of ability to sustain any kind of dialogue with these learned geniuses and activists for a longer period.

I came across so many young people who are so active in NGO operations that I feel ashamed of my puny efforts. Here are people with the conviction to act on their beliefs, no matter how much it costs them personally. I admire them. I wish I could be more dedicated than I am.

In our meeting, we discussed the value of organising the MA Education Programme in Hindi medium as well. There were stong proponents and opponents. A major concern was that with the increasing impact of globalisation English is fast gaining precedence over other languages and so for the students professional prospects, it would be better to guide them to only English programmes and help them learn better English. A valid point that got raised was that are we running a course to coach PG students in Education or English? What do you think guys, should PG programmes be conducted exclusivley in English and not in regional languages?

Furthermore, translation of English academic texts into Hindi seemed to be a major obstacle. Apparently, the dearth of competent translators is a mjor concern. However, I firmly believe that one has to start somehwere. In fields like education and other social science related subjects like disaster management, course should be conducted in regional languages. There are so many out there who do ground work who are not ocncerned about transacting in English or any other language since most of their work never progresses beyond the state level, if it at all passes the district level. Indeed, to be effective, NGOs and other organisations have to ave personnel who can communicate in the local language. So which is in the position of power when it concerns language - English or the regional dialect?

Additionally, with the availibility of academic texts in their languages, activists will be able to encode their rich experience and vast knowledge of grassroot reality in a language that will make people sit up and take notice. Translation will not remain a one way medium that involves only translating material from English into regional languages, the reverse flow will occur as well. This can only be an enriching process for all concerned.

A pertinent question raised was - are to allow our languages to die and force people engaging with a local dialect to articulate themseles in English, simply because it is easier to keep track of one language or because it is difficult to find competent translators and such? When so many countries refuse to engage with English academia and continue their tertiary displinary learnings in their native language, why do we persist with the colonial hangover?

Don;t get me wrong. If regional dialects come into play in the academic field, I will lose out the most, since my primary language has evolved to be English. Yet, I cannot but endorse the promotion of tertiary education in regional languages as true spreading of education. Education and not literacy, which is only what we will achieve if we try to force information only in English in our efforts to empower people in the name of education.

Do write me in your comments.

Method 1

2008-02-21T19:09:00.004+05:30

Well my poems I have decidedto keep them off this blog for the time being as most are too personal and then I end up defending myself or clarifying my feelings. Most people do not seem to understand that it was a moment in time that I have recorded and not my whol ephilosophy of life!!!!!!!!

So you are stuck with my rambling prose pieces if you are checking this blog. So what is it that I ramble about today? Well old topics in a new bottle work mighty well for me. So here goes.

I was thinking of getting my students to perform skits in class. Impromptu ones, where I give each a role to adhere to and they improvise as they are performing. Except that the information I would give to each roleplayer might be contradictory. For example, I tell student A that she was interested in purchasing a state-of-art laptop for her tech crazy kid brother and the she should be asking the salesperson loads of uestions in order to make up her mind between two models, I tell student B that this customer is wasting the time of your juniors by haranguing them for details of some product or the other and then not purchasing it and that this has been goin on for more than a week and that Student B needs to be firm with the customer. Given these roles the students have to adhere to them and develop their dialogues while they are interacting with the other roleplayer.

While the roleplay was fun and they had to polish their language skills as well in the course of this activity (the objective of the activity is language enhancement), I realised that this activity can get out-of-hand for students aged 17-19 and especially in a mixed group. It worked really well with my TISS students who are more mature, but these kids seem to be more involved in how rude the other person was or how weak instead of focussing on the role given to them. Too many clashes led me to cancel this activity in this particular class.

I did have fun while it lasted, but the after class tension was actually firing the class rivalry system. I was there to promote communication efficiency and not develop exisiting tensions. The post class conselling for mitigating rival faction problems was too exhausting. I do not know if this makes me a poor teacher who is not interested in trying to work out solutions for the class. It is just that there are so many other activities that were easier to introduce to the clas to enhance their language skills that I did away with this one. Yet, a doubt lingers. Did I give up too easily? Should I have continued the activity and hoped that students would learn to interact better even in conflicting situations?

I don't know if I gave up too easily this time. I do know that my class runs more smoothly and I have less post class complaints about how students are teasing a particular roleplayer. I also know that next year I am going to introduce this very same activity to another batch and hope I would have learnt from my mistakes and improve students' communication skills and teach them the art of negotiating not through case studies but though their own situations.

If you guys have any ideas, please do let me know.

I love this life

2008-02-20T22:52:00.005+05:30

Well many would be surprised. I usually live the good life and crib about the bad life :)

So what have I been upto huh? Well a lot of things actually.

I learnt a lot about apertures and zoom lens and linear editing and non linear editing and ENG and script writing and what not. I also learnt to teach using the LCD as a primary resource. I learnt you can shout at your students and cough a lot and the coughing is more effective in getting them to jump to do your bidding.

I learnt that watching movies - 6 a day at times can be very tough, especially, if you are also battling a bout of bronchitis.

I learnt that watching your friends on TV is not 1/1000th as good as hugging them in person. I got many of my friends to accept that facebook and orkut be damned, meeting your friends on the road is way more exciting and makes you feel way more connected. I learnt that when you do meet your friends you are not the least interested in harping on that point, you just wanna hug them and talk to them. I learnt that friends arriving to pick you up to get to Khala Ghoda festival and then dropping you home make you feel that this life is the best life there is. I learnt that seeing 29 year olds enjoy making a pot of clay is more exhilirating than all the movies and books in the world.

I learnt that teachers retiring - (this academic year made me realise there were quite a few Independence year babies in the academic world I inhabit) - anyway, I learnt that teachers retiring means that a a new chapter has begun, not that the book's conclusion has been reached. I learnt that these so-called retirees had more zest left in them than most of us applauding them.

I learnt that I could actually singlehandedly feed a cabbie his daily wages as I travelled from home to college 1, then rushed to college 2, proceeded to college 3 and then 4 and then with a brief stopover in the library trudged back home in a cab or auto, too tired to fight the hordes on the more public tranport systems like buses and trains. That I also lugged chunks of assignments that students handed me and managed to correct them in the taxi is but a corollary. I also learnt that trians are fast and cheap and the IRTC food is not half bad when I am famished.

I learnt that Mumbai could get as cold as Delhi. Colder even. I learnt that I could still make it to the 7a.m. lecture and what is more students made it as well!!!!!!!!! I learnt that doctors are human and they can leave your bronchitis untreated if you do not raise a hue and cry and it almost develops into pneumonia (again).

I learnt that students are often much more clever than you give them credit for and you need to push them to stretch their limits which means you need to stretch yours and for me that was a lot of sweat. I learnt that many of friends were involved in organisations that I had never heard of, but all sound so exciting that my head is still reeling from trying to decide which one I can dedicate my time to. I learnt that it is damn easy to get on the executive committee of certain groups. I should know, having been inducted in one.

I have learnt that I am not bad at liasoning have ing found people for 15 or more jobs. I have also learnt that my mobile company can squeeze more than 300 bucks per month from me. Said liasoning has led me to pay nearly double that. Furthermore, I have learnt that people take me for granted now and expect me to have miracles under wraps just awaiting their call. Calling them back, aplologising is another thing I have learnt. I additionally learnt that people are very sweet and are very quick to forgive me.

I have also learnt that I have this uncanny ability to put on kilos whenever I take antibiotics and that means I have added on oodles to my preexisiting oodles. I have learnt that it makes no difference to those who see me everyday and those that see me never. As for the rest, I have learnt to say - 'Dem don't matter' ;) I have relearnt that cooking is still a pain and that stitching more so and shopping the worst by far. I have learnt that books are getting expensive and so is travel but film festivals are galore and are free of cost. I have also learnt that cousins are good for things more than irritating you by pushing you to better yourselves. They actually publish blogs, which are free of cost, and provide great reading (and looking) material forcing you to look at the everyday life with a fresh perspective and making you take off on tangents thereby ensuring your constant entertainment. (For reference read Easwar's blog).

I have learnt that when people come visit you they actually do come to visit you and not your not so clean home. I have learnt that redoing your bathroom (getting it redone actually) is a royal pain. I have learnt that kabbadiwallas may not accept your loft things - that is how outdated my family can be.

I have learnt that using the scanner can be a pleasure, even when you have scanned a book of 200 pages and just when processing the 200th page your solution centre pops a message that there is some error and your file cannot be saved.

I have learnt that sooner than later your friends from different circles seem to meet each other without you around to facilitate the meeting making you wonder what your purpose in this world is. I have learnt that humility is a virtue that I sorely lack, but false (actually even true) confidence is a vice that I don't possess in abundance either.

I have learnt that learning is going to be lifelong process, especially if I keep having to relearn things I have already learnt.

I have learnt that there is actually some blessed soul on this earth who read through this rambling.

Blogging after a long long time

2008-02-20T22:31:00.002+05:30

Hey Folks!
My cousin, a while back was chastising me (AGAIN!!!!!! ) for not being regular enuff at posting my thoughts.

I offered him many many excuses ofcourse. It just that it is a tad difficult to sound convincing when you know he works much much harder than you and for longer hours, yet manages to post regularly not on one but two blogs!!!!! Furthermore, he manages to chat with you, respond to your emails, is in touch with friends, sightsees, helps out galores... well, perhaps, I should have just pleaded 'intimidated'. Except that I am not that either. Takes too much energy to be remain intimidated for long.

So why do not blog regularly? Especially when I ideate so often. I even write on scraps of paper- a lot of crap. How much time could it possibly take to type a few of them down? I seem to have no qualms remarking on various things and people. Why not just post them? Some of my mails, that go on and on much to my friends' disgust could have been posted, especially, since the said friends never would make the mistake of revisiting my page.

So why have I been so lackadaisal? Well I have to be honest, Easwar. Plain and simple laziness. I just can't think of any other reason that sounds reasonable enuff. Of course my net was not working and I was saving download bytes but other than that - sheer laziness. You will just have to live with that and be happy that I comment on your blog at times. Other than you most of my other online treasures are not as prompt. Give me a lot of company, they do. Will try and post a few more thoughts.

Yours lazily,
:)

Overshot Budget lament

2007-09-28T19:18:00.000+05:30

Once again I goofed up,
What I was to save I blew up.
On what you may well ask,
Well travelling was the main evil cause.
Autos and taxis and buses even
Ate away even my pocket linen.
This month's budget is shot
Rains why do you cause such havoc?
Traffic snarls and feverish cold
Add a spendthrift and voila! A budget hole.

All I can hope for is loads of paper correction
For library fees are out, so what do I do for entertainment?
To think that I felt 3000 was a big enough amount
And then exceeded it before the month was out!
Next month will see my kanjoosigiri's new heights
But hopefully, the very next month I can buy what I sight.

Oh! for sticking to the budget
Don't SMS or talk on the cell so much.
Stay away from Baristas and Mac's
And meet friends at each other's homes.
Do not go book hunting with your pockets full
And do NOT reward students howmuchever they struggle.
And NEVER, never go to your college on teacher's day
Those self made cards and the small treats, they all eat into your pay.
Oh! and don't ever fall ill
The worse of the lot is the doctor's bill.

Yet, I cannot regret my spendthrift ways
I know I will pen similar sagas till doomsday.
The paraphrased lines of an advert that I like best
The moment's pleasure - "priceless."

-Written on 28th September 2007

- Well, exaggerated a bit. i can manage the money but I am still annoyed with myself for overshooting my budget. And I had actually increased it for this month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Well you live and I don't learn :))))))))))))))))

Fear Mood

2007-08-26T10:44:00.000+05:30

The late nights are getting to me,
As I lie awake waiting for sleep.
I am filled with so many fears,
I worry till my eyes let out my tears.

I know not for what reason I ache,
Why suddenly I am lying awake.
So many times have I failed,
Should I not be now used to the pace?

Yet, I am haunted by vague visions,
That sinister like taunt my ambitions.
I feel I am choking.
I wish I could stop thinking.

But my thoughts don’t seem to take a break.
Even though they are nonsense, I am swayed.
Moods are such a pain, are they not?
They seem to win always, no matter how hard you fought.

I await the time when I can recuperate,
I wonder how and when I will rejuvenate.
Tears seep out, fears cry out,
I yearn for peace or the ability to fade out

- Written on August 26, 2007
- Sitting in front of the comp at 12:30 a.m.
- Pretty self-explanatory. I don’t why I am so filled with fear all of a sudden. But I often go through these phases. I also feel angry most times if I have energy to spare. Right now I do not.
- Hope the mood shifts soon.

Remembering Patti

2007-08-23T20:05:00.000+05:30

I remember

The times you took me to dance class at 9:30
The times you made me by heart till 30 times 30
The times you beat me at skipping and badminton and TT
The times you pushed me to relish whatever I was to eat
The times you served me my favorite savories with tea
The times you made keeraimashiayal or some other less liked curry
The times you told stories of people I may, unfortunately, never know
The times you pinched me, for reasons I always felt were hollow
The times you ordered me to follow customs and traditions
The times you graciously bowed before my superior arguments
The times you humbled me with your thirst for knowledge
The times you awed me with your unstinting courage
The times you horrified me with your penchant for hard work and your dedication
The times you terrorized me with your demands for perfection
The times you exercised even if you retired late at night
The times you never shut me up if it was only your brains I fried
The times you would listen to, and abide by, what I had to say
The times you would do the contrary and then expect me to obey!
The times you allowed me my freedom of expression
The times when you hurt me with your criticism
The times of working and the fun and games
The times of scolding and (mostly faint) praise.

I remember
All the times of mutual exasperation
All the times of mutual affection

I remember and I write this rhyme
As I realize that you are lost to me in real time.
But you live on Patti
In my memory.

I know my memories of you are different
From those of your other grandchildren.
I am proud that I knew you separately, uniquely.
I hope I live up to the good qualities you inspired in me.

I wish you peace and happiness in your new journey.
I want you to know that your memory will be cherished by so many.

- Written on 23 August 2007
- My grandmother expired yesterday.
- It came to me in the middle of the night as thoughts, memories flashed past my closed eyes.
- I do not regret that she died. I know she would have wished it herself. I am glad her eyes could be donated. I am sure she would have haunted us if not. She had a strong social conscience that were at times not in step with the times we inhabited.
- There were so many times I have fought with her, hated her even. But so many other times when I have admired her. Her dedication to causes, even if I considered them lost, was admirable. Her unquenchable thirst for knowledge and her rather intimidating enthusiasm for hard work are qualities that I have always admired even if the latter is something I do not even wish to emulate. :)

- For Patti

I wish you, Patti, a new journey
That, too, allows you your cherished dignity
I wish you people who might obey
And follow what you ardently feel is the right way.
But hold your glee, for there might be
Some who remind you of me.

On Pallavi

2007-08-15T18:34:00.000+05:30

I spoke, today, with a little girl of eight,
So verbose, so affectionate.
Why the Harry Potter book and not the movie,
Why dance lessons while enjoyable are tiring.
Why music classes are so much fun,
With games of Hide-and-Seek and Magician.
Knows no strangers, this child who reasons.
I am yet to meet a child more winsome.
Rightly so, she has a long list of friends
Their varied interests make her more exuberant.
Reading she loves and her vast collection gives her pride
Her mother’s accusation of glancing through pages, she loudly decries.
Without hesitation she bursts into a song requested,
Ingenuously, she guides you along the path she’s charted.
By a mere child, I am humbled again,
Strangely grand are God’s ways.

- Written on August 15, 2007

- A conversation with Pallavi, a cousin’s child, led me to articulate what I have oft thought when meeting kids. God/Life/ some superior power/ energy force makes us realize that we have lost more than we have gained in terms of innocence and faith, hope and mercy, as we traverse through life in the guise of the more evolved version of humans – an adult.
- I wondered how I would speak with her, what could I talk about. She left my concerns in the dust. The girl held my hand and gently led me along. The sighted leading the blind. And a better guide I couldn’t have asked for.
- I am constantly surprised by children’s rationale. And know what? They often make more sense than the adults around them. She is a darling child, this one. But hey, that is what kids are most times, right? I hope adulthood never befalls them – or if it does then only in the best of spirits.
- Thank you all kids in my life, (since Karthik, before that I was a kid myself). Thank you for constantly educating me.

Incessant Rain

2007-08-05T15:39:00.000+05:30

The rains are lashing everything in their way
We haven’t seen the sun for days.
Water is refreshing, I cannot deny
But moderation is surely required?
How can the earth absorb such a drenching,
As the heavens pour constantly?
Usually a pleasant sight, the trees swaying,
Today, brings with it dread of their falling.
The water levels rising should not concern
Those cocooned safely in their home.
But even here, the rains get flak,
Clothes do not dry, walls turn green and black.
Every surface is coated with such grime
That even wet wipes cannot make them shine.
Cleaning takes ever so long and seems so pointless
Everything is so dull, so lifeless.
Will it ever stop this incessant rain?
All it brings now is fear of suffering, of pain.

- Written on 5 August 2007
- It has been raining constantly for more than a week. I cannot go to Kalina library for fear of getting stuck in the lower lying area. And I have the usual rain wrought maladies. Need I say more?

Academics Ex

2007-07-08T17:09:00.000+05:30

Recently I got into a debate with an uncle of mine about the value of academics for this generation. He felt that the upcoming crop of talent show winners are very young and need to be encouraged to complete their studies before they enter any professional field. I have a different view from his.

I opine that the world of academics is not one that is necessarily the right one for all. That getting a degree need not guarantee one a better frame of mind and better tools of trade with which we can succeed in this world. Endorsing formal education is an outdated concept and the status we accord individuals with a long list of degrees only on the basis of the degrees is not the attitude I would like to be encouraged.

I am pursuing my M.Phil. I wonder if this should automatically accord me status. Do you really think that just because I am actively pursuing higher and higher studies I am noteworthy? We associate qualities of intelligence, hard work and determination with people successful in the world of academia. I know for a fact that this is not true in many cases. Often it is a case of not knowing anything better to do, a knack for rote learning and/or favourable circumstances that accompany such individuals. When I compare my own efforts to those who use their common sense to solve our problems, who use native intelligence to start flourishing businesses or those unqualified individuals who with kindness and empathy help others, my questionable accomplishments pale into insignificance.

Education is supposed to broaden one's horizons but all too often highly qualified individuals are too limited in their thinking. It is quite often a case of a big fish in a small pond versus a small fish in an ocean. I am not too sure that the big fish option is one that I would recommend, especially in this day and age of globalisation.

I work with a few others in helping those students who are termed weak because they are unable to cope with the medium of instruction - English. In the process I also come across students who are weak academically. These students are bright. They have solutions for problems that are practical. Their concepts are clearer and more grounded in realities and take into consideration the financial aspects. At TISS, these are the students who are often identified as the ones with true potential. But they might not make it into the academic limelight just because they often drop out due to the pressures of the narrow minded academia. But their strength of mind and their dedication is such that rise they will and help others in the process.

A number of my friends are in media (includes acting). I know that a number of business opportunities present themselves in this field and that quite a number of them venture into lesser heard avenues. Setting up or being involved in production houses, recording studios, security services, rental agencies, boutiques, restaurants, event management companies, PR agencies, etc are a few of the lanes that we hear of so often. We need to teach the upcoming winners of various talent shows to recognise such opportunities and to use them to their advantage.

In India, we have a dearth of continuing education classes that will cater to individuals who would like to broaden their horizons and venture into unconventional streams. Our business administration course are sadly lacking at the lower levels. How many of us would really want to do an MBA in finance? But how many of us do wish to know more about the world of finance so that we are better equipped safeguard our interests? How many courses do you know of that can cater to this need? If we are lucky enough to know someone who will share their knowledge fine, otherwise we are left to find our way through the wilderness of the Internet and that is even more confusing than not knowing anything. I know that the academic world feels that such courses are not very necessary as they are not 'professional' courses. Eclectic learning is something they cannot fathom. Gaining basic knowledge in various practical courses is something our society does not respect. We would rather have professional specialists to look up to.

There is a popular saying that experience is the best teacher. Obviously, IT companies go by this maxim. The number of non engineering, indeed non science students they induct is increasing day by day. In fact, arts and commerce students are seen to be outshining the traditionally looked up to individuals from the science field in this industry. A glaring example of a degree not being so important in this world is the number of hackers being invited to be on the pay roll of so many programme developing companies. Many of these hackers who defeat the programmes of academically qualified professionals are mere students. What use academia then?

I don't think it is right that we are still promoting conventional academics as the right path to adopt. If students who are not academically inclined are forced to continue in this line we are losing valuable talent. Let us not be so bowled over by academic qualifications that we forget that some of the most notable achievements have been accomplished by people that the academia spurned initially. I name Einstein and Bill Gates as oft quoted examples but there are so many more success stories.

We value academics so much. But does academics really contribute so much to the world? We rush to a specialist for snake bite when a 6 year old tribal can easily prescribe an antidotal remedy with more chances of success. We have a blot like Gujarat politics on our conscience in spite of the fact that we have an eminently qualified Prime Minister and a very highly qualified President! We cry foul against the Indian label being tagged on to the London Bomb blast suspects and conveniently forget the acts of terrorism being perpetuated in our country. The aiding and abetting of terror by the Government of Gujarat is one example. It has become so easy to hold to ransom the public. What use academia when an award winning student is dismissed because his painting is such that narrow minded bigots cannot envision? For making token protests?

Don't get me wrong. As a student and as a teacher I value education a lot. It is only that we get too easily awestruck by people who hold high degrees. We attribute to them qualities and powers that they might never possess. We look down on those with lesser qualifications, though they might be more talented. We show off the names of the colleges we attended like we were given admittance to the pearly gates of heaven. I admit that heaven would be easier to get into than some of our colleges, but let us not overdo the importance. Shining in academics need not translate into shining in the day-to-day grind we call life or vice versa. Academics is not always the right option for all.

When intelligent youngsters of this generation rebel against a system of rote learning of outdated concepts and impractical fields how can I not applaud them? When they go about blazing trails for the next generation to follow how can I not encourage them? Sure there are failures. But hey! After seeing so many suicide cases when academic results are announced we sure can't deride the attempts of trail blazers. I understand that a high standard of living and fame is what motivates a lot of the talent show contestants but isn't that exactly why we harp about getting a good education? Are our motives in encouraging children to shine in academia concerned with their mental growth alone? We guide them to 'professional' disciplines and then dare criticise the children who are so honest about their dreams! As for emotional maturity, sure there are participants who reak down because they can't hack it, but then the 10th and 12th Std. results also lead to so many depressed individuals that we cannot state that academia is the better option or even a safer one.

I wish our society can move beyond the conventional. I wish our education system could better cater to individuals with wider interests than the previous generation. But as long as these wishes are not fulfilled I can only applaud those with the courage to dream and go after their dreams without worrying about society's expectations. Society, they well know, will applaud success be it accompanied by a degree or not. After all we have our Laloo Prasad Yadav.

-Written on 7 July 2007

- Would love to hear from you guys. This one too just wrote itself out. will have to read it later to gain perspective.

- As for the title it is play on work ex as in experience vs. ex - as in out

Water logging in Mumbai

2007-07-03T22:28:00.000+05:30

In the face of all the damage that the rain gods are wrecking in Gujarat this article is blatatntly self centered. I am a Mumbaite and I am affected more immediately by the problems faced here.

News channels have inundated us with images of the water logged state of Mumbai - India's answer to Shangai. Well, I don't think the situation is going to improve much in the future. Today's edition of TOI had good articles on water logging measures that can be taken in the immediate future.

I think it is time citizens woke up to their duty as well. We merrily use plastic bags and Bisleri bottles like there is no tomorrow and when tomorrow comes, we crib. Newspapers start blaming BMC when the rain water doesn't drain away due to clogged systems and then publish pictures, but why don't they wake up, as well, from November or whenever they expect BMC to be on its toes? Why do we persist in throwing garbage out of train and bus windows and not complain vociferously when the kachra overflows outdated garbage dumps on our street corners? Till we improve there is going to be no improvement.

I remember a Mumbai where people like Nana Patekar would clean the place outside their homes and ensure that the nullahs around were clean. He would clean the nullah outside his house before and after Ganesh Chaturthi. How many us do that still? We wait for BMC workers to do such work. Of course, Preity Zinta does her annual drive.

It is pathetic. I know I have not cleaned my street in more than 10 years. I was in school when last I did some brooming and then too it was just pretty street brooming. That meant we swept the dirt into the side gutter. I can't blame the BMC then. There are these cleaning drives that we join josh mein and then forget hosh mein. Then accurse others with dosh. Not fair.

I know that BMC workers hae a job to do that they have not even begun but let us please not forget that it was the people of Mumbai who eraned it its reputation not the BMC. Everyone pitched in as required to build a better place. We have, I think, grown too complacent in our middle class values and in our aspirations to white collar work.

Before we ask that the Government give us our Shangai let us honestly answer the question of whether we are worthy of it. Are we? We who can't be bothered to even segregate our garbage in our homes, use CFC instead of bulbs, not use plastic, continue to throw garbage on the streets, and continue to turn a blind eye to incompetent authorities till we suffer the consequences.

Sorry, got on too high and long a soap box.

-Written on 3rd july 2007

In response to a casual comment by Deba in a mail.

The City that Never sleeps

2007-06-25T14:41:00.000+05:30

In the city that never sleeps
There is now induced inactivity.
Power cuts that for 20 hours and more last
Force you to plot your escape fast.
In this city renowned for honesty
Is invoked a courtesy policy.
Work has lost its priority
But you will hear "I am very sorry".
You can make calls umpteen
"As soon as possible" will be their theme.
But pray define 'soon' for me
What I learnt in school is outdated you see.
Valuable lessons I have learnt in these past hours
That courtesy is worth pittance if results are barred.

- Written on 25th June 2007
-Self explanatory. We had a power cut from 5:45pm last evening that lasted till 2 pm today affecting supply of water as well. But Know what? I still am not as gloomy as i sound in this poem. More later. ;)

One last time…

2007-05-13T12:57:00.000+05:30

Oh! Just one last time will you not accompany me?
Oh! Just one more time will you not journey?
So many times you were my sanctuary,
The one who stored so many of my treats.
You were with me on all my trips,
You helped me through the hardest bits.
You held my hand as I looked around,
Searching for a comforting sight or sound.
Your open arms so often sheltered me
As I wept away my unreasonable misery.
Books or kerchiefs or pens and pencils or some trick,
Anything I wanted, you produced like magic.
In airports, in stations, in buses, on roads
Or in others’ homes, you were never a load.
I came to you only when in need,
But you never ever grudged at me
I never knew
How much I relied on you.
Till now, when I know,
You will not be with me on the road
I feel so disheartened, so lonesome,
Without my home away from home.
This time when I foray again
I will not have my trustworthy suitcase.

- Written on 13th May 2007
- Self-explanatory. My suitcase that has been with me for the past 16 years serving first me and my brother and then only me has breathed its last breath of service and even as I struggle to bid it a decent adieu I have to search for a replacement and that is so hard in this age where you get anything and everything but what you are used to.

A Pail’s Reminiscence

2007-05-09T17:43:00.000+05:30

Soapy water runs down your hand
Suds sparkle on the grills and glass.
The sun showers its warm rays in greeting
The cool breeze makes it refreshing.
You are humming some song,
Making up as you go along.
As your brother brings you water
He groans, ‘It’s too early for this torture.’
You turn. You are smiling.
Then soapy suds at him are flying.
They don’t reach him but he yells.
He shakes the stool and you are at ground level.
You catch him for balance
You have marked him. Perfect revenge.
As windows and grills are getting cleaned
A splash fight begins with glee.
Your mom warns you to stop horsing
As you splash her lightly she is quietly laughing.
Drops of water have captured the sunbeams
The rainbow dances set alight the balcony.
You turn back to your job. You are singing.
I think ‘What a beautiful morning…’

- Hastily scribbled today morning (9th May 2007) over a cuppa.
- Yes, I do windows. ;0 In fact this was written the fact after.
- And Nilu, this is one of the many chores my mom was screaming at me for, not you thought whatnot ;)
- And for reference purposes my brother politest expression when I sing is disdain. I suck I admit. The poor pail. No wonder it was always full ;))

Why Reservation……..

2007-05-07T12:50:00.000+05:30

Well, I know I am being contradictory. But try as I might I can’t find an alternative route to reservation. If you could tell me one I would be obliged. The SC/ST/OBC quotas are inciting what seems to be everyone’s ire. It is worth it (in hard cash) to be able to come up with a pragmatic solution.

Yes, there should ideally be no quotas given to a section of society that is not marginal, if political vote banks are anything to go by. Why then are they being given such preferential treatment and why are they allowed into hallowed halls of tertiary education when they obviously cannot compete at par with the merit students. Is this where we are leading our country to? These and such are the questions posed by many anguished educated (and incidentally mostly “higher caste”) citizens of our country. Don’t arrive at wrong conclusions, they are not against the upliftment of the oppressed sections. It is just that they feel that in this day and age the oppressed sections are the economically backward classes (EBCs – to which again, incidentally, quite a few “higher caste” people do belong). That many of the SC/ST/OBCs belong to this more acceptable basis for reservation is of course also incidental. Right?

I look at both points of views, the pros and cons of reservation for OBCs and SCs and STs and EBCs and wonder where we are heading. The reservation bill for women too caused angst among so many including some feminist groups. Why is reservation a new word no longer fit to be mentioned in a truly civilized society?

Do we think that in the land where encounter killings are not just sanctioned but encouraged by governments for the pettiest of reasons deeply rooted in prejudice we are all civilized? Do we think that in the land where despite so many feminist groups, so many pro women laws we still have millions of cases of atrocities against women we are all civilized? Do we think that in a land that is peopled by deeply religious believers of children being the blessings of God , where we worship Goddesses as the Almighty, but where we still have multitude cases of child labor, of female infanticide we are civilized? Do we think that in the land that hails the Mahatma as the Father of the Nation and that proudly touts its copyrighted version of Ahimsa, yet where a Dalit would be killed for daring to drill his own well in a village, where we should be as ashamed of present day socio-political Gujarat as we hope to shame Pakistan or the USA for their atrocities, we are civilized? Please somebody explain the Indian concept of civilization to me.

Women came into power by being promoted to positions of rank by sympathetic people who believed in equality. So many women protest that this kind of reservation is merely a symbolic gesture empty of meaning. It is like doing Lakshmi Pooja and worshipping the women of the family for one day and going back to exploiting them the rest of the year. I doubt if the majority of the people following this custom are even aware of the hypocrisy they practice. They are not even aware of their practices as being condemned as exploitative. The historical-cultural- psychological burden carried by the women as they try to march toward equality has been documented so many times. Do we think that any oppressed section of society suffers less?

‘The worst enemy of a woman is another woman.’ It is a saying that I have heard so many times. I will not get into the debate of the whys and wherefores. I will extend this argument. I do strongly believe that the worst enemy of any oppressed section is another party with that same section, i.e., the worst enemy of an SC/ST/OBC is another SC/ST/OBC. The worst enemy of an Indian is another Indian. The worst enemy of oneself is also oneself. Sounds familiar? Of course it is what most religious and spiritual texts preach. If you want science to give its stamp of approval to this doctrine then psychology and even biology with its genetic explanations of why we suffer from various illnesses will attest to it.

So what is the solution? What do we do? Is there no end to this ongoing debate? Are the “higher castes” of today to be persecuted for the ills of their ancestors? Do we punish present day Germans for the atrocities that their forefathers committed? Do we punish men en masse for the crimes that have been committed against women? Is reservation for the “oppressed” sections of society a punishment for the “unoppressed” but formerly oppressive sections?

I wonder, were women always as savvy as they are today? Were they able to handle the pressures of working outside as they are today? Were they as respected to take sensible decisions as they are today? Were they deemed as capable of being engineers or doctors or lawyers or even teachers as they are today? Did they not fight persecution, prejudice? Did they not make mistakes? Did they not stumble and even give up in some cases? Did they not eliminate their ‘femininity’ in some cases to be accepted? Were they not reviled? Here too, were not the economically privileged better off in acquiring more privileges? And did not the social revolution slowly but surely come about? Was it not, at least in India, Indira Gandhi as our Prime Minister who did more to convince the downtrodden of the value of women as a working segment than any other feminist group? Was Indira Gandhi not a symbol initially? Was it not later that she came into her own?

Every case in history, every success story, talks of oppression faced by heroes and heroines. They were challenged, castigated, suppressed and/or victimized as they struggled to march to the beat of their own drummer. We hear of them today and salute them, be they Bill Gates or Abdul Kalam or Einstein or Dalai Lama or Medha Patkar or Taslima Nasrin. Why then do we persist in seeing the failures within our system? Surely for every success story we hear of, the public figures, there are many more who started their journey but gave up? If we truly salute the spirit and not merely the success then shouldn’t we also applaud briefly the failures for daring to try? If we should, then why are we so against the people who will try to rise through an avenue they are trying to create? Why are we so against reservation?

Are we against reservation per se or against politicians using these policies for their own nefarious purposes? Is that what we are afraid of? Then why not decry as loudly and for as long the political decisions that are affecting the security and economy of the country (the sanctioned riots/encounters/ bandhs) or the education system of the country (other than reservation, we do have issues like improvement of facilities, payscale for teachers etc.) and so on? Why do we agitate about select issues when each of us is bound to all issues? I see no 'morchas', no protests, no wide scale demonstrations for environmental protection. In spite of the fact that the global warming will cause us all to suffer even more within the next decade we are not agitating. When there is such a hue and cry due to power shortages I see no mass campaigns for alternative solutions. I see no one promoting solar energy as a source for locally harvesting power to facilitate our mechanical lives. We deem in these cases that it is a political decision that must have the final avowal.

Ultimately, then, we are apathetic to our surroundings. We are concerned about earning power to which tertiary education at prestigious institutions is linked. We are not concerned with how we live but our status. We talk of the quality of life but I see very few campaigners for this facet. I have no recourse but to opine that the reservation for oppressed sections might be even more stringently opposed to than the reservation for women because we see the money going to other sections of the community. After all, if the women earn it is still the same community that they are contributing to. In short, they are still the community’s property. I wonder if this is not another cause for a protest march.

I wonder if we will ever face ground realities instead of being ensconced behind a computer. Because like it or not the ones behind a computer are fewer in number to the ones with no water, no money, no opportunity and yet the minority rules. Now isn’t that just like India? When will our situation improve? I think only if we are able to stake a majority government. When we give voice to those who listen to us. Till then Jiyo segmentation. Jiyo mere symbolic reservations. Jiyo agitations. Jiyo pessimism. Jiyo depression.

If we, “the educated”, “the civilized”, “the sensible”, “the true visionaries of the nation”, are truly so many in numbers and are united in our goals I wonder why we manage to elect a diverse range of politicians to represent us at the highest echelon of our realm. Are we then the majority? Or are we then not as united as we like to proclaim? Are we our own worst enemy?

As for the reservation issue, you didn’t truly think I had any answers, did you? ;)

- Written on 7th May 2007.

A Conversation Recorded

2007-04-28T23:45:00.000+05:30

Oh no! Not again! Oh! Here it goes. Well Ok. Anusha, stay calm, it was your fault. Get the lecture over with. Do not, absolutely do not back answer. No. NO!! Do not back answer. Do not make faces even. No excuses. They will not be considered. You know the drill. Do not murmur to yourself. Yes, you did not mean to do anything wrong but it was your fault nevertheless. Be a man. That is not being chauvinistic for God’s sake. That is just an expression. Listen girl, I am the only friend you have right now. Don’t you start cross questioning me too. Just listen to the lecture girl. Don’t let your attention wander like this. People shouting at you like to know you are listening to their efforts. They don’t like shouting at unappreciative brick walls you know.

Oh well! I tried. God! Why is there so much population in the world? If there were fewer people I would not be like I am now, getting so many scoldings from my Mom just because I am forgetful.

What?! What are you yakking about, you crazy girl? You should be paying attention to your Mom. She means well you know. And she is NOT doing this for her pleasure. Landsakes woman! What do you mean by there being less population and you being more responsible?

Oh shut up! I have my Mom thank you. One conscience is enough. For anyone. Even me.
Oh God! Why? Such long queues would not have been there.

Obviously! Gone. A nutcase. Someone certify her. Please!

Why don’t you understand? That is precisely my point . If there had been less people standing in line to receive God’s blessings then I might have waited around for HIM or HER to get to me. God knows, I have no patience. At least then the first blessing I received could have been that then. Then I would have waited around for the other blessings. But No! Of course not. That would have been too easy. For me. Not God. So I was blessed with that introductory offer package. A modicum of conscience, a smattering of brains, a pinch of responsibility, a teaspoon of honesty, a dash of optimism, a drop of pragmatism, a splash of ambition, an atom of …….

Enough already! What are you jabbering on about woman? Your Mom has finished her lecture. Your response is expected.

Huh? Oh! Oh. Well you understand why I am so lacking don’t you? It is not my fault. Absolutely not.

Yeah! Yeah!

“I am sorry Ma.”

Yeah. Yeah. You don’t really believe all this do you?

Why not?

Why not?! Why not? When will you grow up girl?

Enough already! “Yes Ma. Will do it. YES!”

- Written on 28 April 2007

- Well, Deba. Not always poems I said. This is one prosaic piece that fortunately wrote itself on the comp so I was not too lazy to upload it. That is another blessing that God denied me by not granting me patience to wait for the “hardworking” blessing. Bloody hard work to get these blessings I tell you. ;)

Inspired by Solitude (Nehal’s pic)

2007-04-27T19:31:00.000+05:30

The water beckons, so unfettered.
As can I be if I the sea enter.

Oh traveler! Why when you are so weary
Do you merely walk along the shore
Not even looking at the beauty
That stops just short of your sole?

Oh look! Can’t you see
The very best of Nature’s bounty?

Firelight caressing the waves
The air dancing under the waves
A union so divine
All the 5 elements here join

Oh traveler! If I were you
I would not walk along as you do.

I would embrace the water,
I know all my cares would disappear,
I know I would be rejuvenated,
I know joyous peace I would be granted.

- Written on 26th April 2007

- I know u have titled this pic solitude and yes it speaks of that as well but I just viewed it in this manner. Hope you don’t mind Nehal?

- Nehal did not mind obviously. ;)

- Check out my sidebar for a link to more fascinaing pictures by Nehal.

What I Am Not Is ….

2007-04-25T12:46:00.000+05:30

So self assured that I can listen to all you say
So insecure that I have nothing to say
So brilliant that I have all the answers
So dumb that not a single query tortures
So independent that I need no help
So dependent that I need to be guided every step
So wise that I accept everything with equanimity
So sensitive that every little thing affects me immensely
So insensitive that I recognize only me and my needs
So insensible that I fail to value what others feel
So incurious that I never wonder why
So interested that I constantly pry
So likeable that I bring everyone a smile
So revolting that to avoid me you would run a mile
So shy that I am no company
So outgoing that I am the focal point of any party
So lovely that you would never forget me
So ugly that you’d wish that your memory could expunge me
So loyal that I would always come through, no matter what
So false that I wouldn’t care if through Hell you pass
So merciful that I would forgive and forget every offence
So ruthless that nothing would move me, no tear, no penance
So ambitious that I want to break through the sky
So complacent that I would never try

So it goes on…the litany of what I am not
So what am I, well that’s a bit too hard to sort.

- Written on 24th April 2007

- Why? I have no clue. Maybe because I was thinking of new ways to teach antonyms and synonyms and could not get beyond the traditional ;)

Blame this on TV – Another Diatribe

2007-04-25T11:57:00.000+05:30

Another program on TV
I know, I am addicted hopelessly.
This one was a political interview
Of how laws need implementation, not mere purview.
An example was given that made me laugh
I will share with you that you too may scoff.
The law says ‘Do not treat SC/ST differently
Do not for example, serve them in a separate cup tea.’
If you do thus you can be punished
Up to 5 years to jail you can be banished.

My brother stared hard when I cackled,
So I explained to him the law fickle.
Do not treat differently an SC/ST,
But provide for them a separate seat.
They are not different from rest of humanity,
But they cannot compete equally.
They have faced too much cruelty
To just in 60 years overcome their disability.
They are not less than us on any front.
They just need more time to learn.

Has the lawmaker ever thought that there are inequals among equals,
That not every (formerly) underprivileged can achieve laurels,
That more issues need to be addressed,
Than seats and cups redressed?
Be they privileged or underprivileged, everyone deserves a fair turn.
You can’t preach equality if any segment you shun.
A top-down approach is detrimental to the nation
If a bottom-up approach is not effected for every section.
Perhaps I am another Mary Antoinette.
But in this age of equality I too claim respect.

- Written on 25th April 2007

Well a politician’s interview on Jaya TV led to this diatribe.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the need for reservation for the underprivileged. It is just that notions of privilege are so vaguely defined that I can no longer agree with the existing law about who is underprivileged and who is not.

Just as I took stance against the symbolic 30% reservation of seats for women I am against the current position of the Government in symbolically reserving seats in tertiary education for yet another segment of the underprivileged. If they could not tackle the problem of SC/ST in almost 60 years of Independent India and the years before while fighting for Swaraj how long is it going to take them to tackle the OBC problem they have now identified? This is too deeply rooted a problem to disappear with reserving a few (or many) seats. It needs a ground level approach to be implemented. It needs a cleansing of the culture and traditions that so many of the politicians so desperately cling to.

I think the Government wants to ensure that there are problems in the country that it will need to govern thus ensuring the politicians’ occupation for years to come.

Question: What is one of the easiest problems to rectify according to the Indian Governance system?
Answer: Problems that they have themselves masterminded.

Question: Who can solve these problems?
Answer: Why you have to vote them in and then they will take through the maze they constructed and if they haven’t forgotten (politicians in India being by and large senior citizens) they will try and lead to light.
Or you can break through if you are so inclined. (But please note that I think the politicians better than us know about our ghulami mentality)

Jalianwala Baug Gujarat se hara

2007-04-25T11:54:00.000+05:30

Khadi pehenke bane the khaidi
Taaki desh ko mile azaadi.
Dekho aaj desh ki pragati
Kitni paas nazar aati hai barbaadi.

Dange fasad hote hain aaj zyaada,
Jalianwala Baug Gujarat se hara.
Swatantrata ka nara
Bas ek pratik bechara.

Kya chaha tha, kya paaya.
Ghulami ne kabhi sar na jhukaya.
Auroin ki ya apnoin ki
Seva dharam ne khub rang jamaya.

Raja ho ya sarkar ho
Angrez ya bharatiya ho
Koi aisa ho jise nakaar sako
Apni nakaamiyabiyon ki wajah bana sako.

Ya aisa ho who nek banda
Jo sabki tarraki ke liye ho kaam karta.
Bas hamein baksho
Gulamoin ko gulami ke hal pe chodo.

- Written on 25th April 2007.

- Why? I have no clue. I keep reading so many newspapers and watching TV perhaps I have become as dreary as them.

Will you....?

2007-04-22T12:03:00.000+05:30

Will you dance with me on all kinds of roads?
Will you hold my hand against a life tide’s force?
Will you laugh with me over life’s ironies?
Will you cry with me over tragedies?

Will you let me in your life? Will you share
Your darkest fears and your cares?
Will you stay with me even if we succeed?
Or is it only failure that anchors us deep?

Will you get angry and then say sorry?
Or will you exercise control till you leave me?
When I make mistakes, will you punish then forgive me?
Or will you pretend to forget, then continue to blame me?

When you are in need will you trust me?
Or will you protect me, patronize me?
When life gets too much will you, for a short while, shelter me?
And when I am strong again will you lure me out to face reality?

Will you hold my hand against a life tide’s force?
Will you dance with me on all kinds of roads?
Will you, in us, believe?
Will you be the friend I so direly need?

- Written on 22 April 2007.

Wedding Anniversary

2007-04-22T09:43:00.000+05:30

Last year, this day, a knot was tied
A commitment long held was finalized.
Two friends joined hands in matrimony.
May their love always sing the song of harmony.

From college days they have been together.
Yet the celebration of love, for us, was a wonder.
A reiteration of love and happiness
May this couple always have bliss.

Two of our most loved friends
Today celebrate the first anniversary of when they wed.
We rejoice with them on this special day.
May their union be a beacon of hope always.

- Written on 22 April 2007.

- On this day in the year 2006, Mautik and Shraddha wed.
- A few tears of happiness were by their kith and kin shed.
- As the ‘I do’ rang resoundingly clear,
- Everyone’s hearts filled with cheer.

A Day Out

2007-04-21T22:25:00.000+05:30

My cousin and I met after many days.
We decided to catch a movie to celebrate.
The movie was entitled The Departed.
This Scorsesen movie was very well enacted.

The theme was cops and robbers
I expected fear and tears but not much humour.
But it was laughter all the way with no moralistic sermons.
Surprisingly, the cops were shown as mostly good humans.

Before and after the movie, we walked the town streets
Or wandered aimlessly, to put it more aptly.
We walked, not always in tandem, as we chatted,
Teasing comments, as is custom, spouted.

Walked me poor legs for hours he did
And then had the audacity to claim I had a limp!
Saw my spectacles and decided arbitrarily
Large frames are for freaks.

A day out with my cousin brother,
To many such more I look forward.
Just want to say bro, “Thanks for your caring ways,
And hope you don’t mind being damned with faint praise.” ;)

- Written on 10 November, 2006.
- Well it was written on a scrap while traveling back home and since I found it now thought I might as well continue the torture.
- Dharam, beware! Such scraps are more common than even you might tolerate ;)
- Everybody else relax. I am too lazy to type all that crap. I mostly throw them away.

On Nehal's 'Abstraction' and more

2007-04-14T22:16:00.000+05:30

An aritst's palatte.
Possibilities galore.
Where will she take me next?
What world will she throw open?
An ephemeral moment captured for eternity
And eternity encapsuled in a moment.

I salute the eye that sees,
I salute the hand that captures,
I salute the heart that shares
The vision of a blessed mind.

Thank you Nehal.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dividedface/395075924/

Patwardhan Park

2007-03-19T14:55:00.000+05:30

Nike will be delighted, Adidas too –
So many health freaks who use their goods.
The shoes look used and yet somehow new,
Isn’t that great for the manufacturers of shoes!

What about socks? –
Some wear them some not.
Show bites must not be a problem for them,
And yes, the latter’s feet mustn’t smell.

Not many are wearing the clothes though
That for exercise nuts are the proper do.
Pants with [tightly] belted loops and thick, tight clothes
Are what are often seen on these health aficionados.

Cellulars in hand,
They march to individual bands.
If they are not listening to music
Then they are indulging in gossip.

These are folks who come by car
So that they may walk in a park.
These are folks who do walk
But only so that they too of the fashionable crowd are a part.

Yes, there are a few
Who walk because they love to.
Yes, there are a few
Who walk because they were advised to.

But for the majority of the crowd
The park is but a meeting ground.
And to which group do I belong? –
Oh! I am part of those who sit and critique everyone else around. ;))

-Written on 2 February 2004.

- Am going through a sort ur notes phase due to a serious space crunch. Am wondering if I studied at all. ;)

Home

2007-03-19T14:31:00.000+05:30

Home – a place where by blood people are joined
Or, where loving hearts abide?
Home – a place where there are knock down fights
Or, where everyone is free to disagree then put them aside?
Home – where ONE rules the roost
Or, where everyone has an equal say on each issue?
Home – where one has to account for every move
Or, where one feels safe and secure?
Home – a place all too real
Or, what everyone aspires for as the ideal?

- Written on 15 December 2003.

-Was going over my notes and came across this. Since it is short was not too lazy to type ;

Burning

2007-03-04T13:06:00.000+05:30

Burning. Burning. Hurting. Burning.
Chaotic thoughts. Floating. Jumping.
Snatch one here. One there.
Make no sense. Despair.
Move, mooove. NO. Halt. Lie still? Pain.
Oh! How I explain?
Fed up. Cry.
Hurts. No pry.
Alone? No. people? NO.
Don’t know.
Think. Feel. Hurt only.
Life. Folly.
No more.
Please.

- Written on March 4, 2007, Sunday, HOLI.
- Free flow as usual. Friends (especially you Deba) have been telling me for long that I am too Wordworthian must become modern. Seems my subconscious was listening. What is this about? Dunno. It is modern yaar. Make of it what u will. U will anyway. But yes, I have ulcers in my mouth thanks to an allergic reaction. Actually I have a mouth that is all ulcer. I think I let my tongue write this out. Takes away all the mystery doesn’t it? ;0

Present Generation Romantics

2007-02-20T23:16:00.000+05:30

Perhaps romance has been so idealized
That the present generation feels pressurized
It fears that it may not live up to
The fantastical state that romance has been enshrined in.

Perhaps, we therefore prefer marriages that are arranged
So, then our idealistic bubble needn’t be burst.
Love can still be loved
The fantastical state still be attained if only we were more passionately abandoned.

Perhaps I am just trying to justify the current trend
And defy sociologists blaming my generation.
Am trying to state we lack not decision making skills
Rather we just want to preserve romance for the romantics.

- This piece is incomplete. It is merely an attempt on my part to formulate a few ideas that are floating in my head. I am not sure how to articulate all that I feel. But an article on arranged marriages provoked my sensibilities and sensitivities. I am still trying to grapple from the perspective of one who has friends, some of whom have opted for arranged, some who have fallen in love, and some who are like me deferring/searching/waiting/hoping/romancing……….;)
- Written on February 20, 2007.
- Nope guys was NOT on a roll. These thoughts have all been coagulating in my mind for some a while now. My friends circle in the last year has a seen a spurt of engagements and weddings - of all kinds - arranged, love, arranged-love and love-arranged. It makes one ruminate and in my case it sooner or later results in me trying to articulate.

Trust a Stranger

2007-02-20T22:37:00.000+05:30

What is it that allows one to trust a stranger,
To move forward in life with them as a partner?
But then do we ever truly know another?
Isn’t life about change, about growth, about becoming better?

As we grow, our parents change, or perhaps our perceptions
As life progresses our relationships, our values, our interests subtly change in importance.

Then, when we do not remain the same,
Will not be tomorrow what we are today.
Then, how does one know, or perhaps hope,
That one’s partner will also parallelly grow?

Or am I getting it all wrong?
Does it really matter if on different paths, to different beats we march along?
Do our parents walk with us, or our siblings, or even our chosen friends?
And yet are we not enriched through their acquaintance?

Yet we wonder what allows one to so optimistically choose
A partner who will always be the other half of our soul?
How does one trust the half to always remain half?
To trust the half to remain our half?

“So what?” exclaim the brave,
“Joyously embrace the change.”
But I wonder, I still wonder
What is it that allows one to trust a stranger?

- Written on February 20th, 2007

For Gauri, Preeta et al

2007-02-20T22:28:00.000+05:30

For Gauri, Preeta and of course Sanju and how do I forget Shivangi and Abhay and yes, you too Rohan, and Romi and Pravara …. Any more guys/ gals out there?............. ;)))

A new season heralds – one of weddings.
Many of my friends are partnerships forming.
A new threshold, a new path,
So many on a new journey have embarked.
The moment is exciting, full of possibilities.
The future beckons, sounds so promising.
I wish them success. I wish them excitement.
I wish them joy. I wish them fulfillment.

-Gauri and Preeta thank you for stunning me with news of your respective engagements. As for the rest of you u added to me being overwhelmed.
- Wrote this while purportedly attending a seminar on February 20, 2007

Laudable Achievement

2006-12-29T11:09:00.000+05:30

I wonder if cats laud each other,
During community meetings and social get-togethers;
That in spite of living amongst people and rats
They haven’t forgotten how to be cats?

I wonder if the dogs howling at night
Are in fact applauding each other for being so bright;
That in spite of the best efforts by humans to tame them,
Their doggy qualities they have not forgotten.

I see a few smiles, I hear a few laughs.
Is what I am saying so absurd after all?

Do we not so very often hear cries
Of how only in India all religions thrive;
Of how Hindus and Muslims are like brothers,
In spite of those who induce terror;
Of how laudable it is about our country,
That amongst a billion plus people survives humanity?

- Written on 28th December 2006
- Well this is what happens when I see stupid programmes on TV like the stupid person I am ;)

Pneumonic Plight

2006-12-29T10:45:00.000+05:30

I sit up all night,
Coughing away all my might,
Struggling to breathe properly,
Craving sleep, craving even a moment of peace.

I wonder how a simple cold
Ballooned into a pneumonic hold.
I feel strangled inside out,
As I feverishly struggle with the lout.

At least I know I will soon be cured.
Even if it is at times death I cheer.
I wonder how other survive,
Those worse off, how do they bear to strive?

I can only salute their spirit
And pray for their strength that they may never desist.

- Written on 28th December 2006
- Well pretty much self explanatory isn’t it? I am suffering from a nice black mood of self pity and martyr syndrome ;)

The Customer

2006-12-06T18:35:00.000+05:30

EMI is today’s catch-phrase.
Typically, the middle class have latched onto this craze.
In bygone years people believed in advance payments.
Now, the savvy know there’s more to be gained from installments.
How do I know this?!
Oh! You mean how do I prove this?
Easy! See the matrimonial classifieds:
“Wanted a bride, preferably employed…”
No dowry demands from the educated sophisticate.
Why bother when better returns are assured from a working mate?
The buyers, the sellers, everyone is happy.
Why, there is nary a quarry!
The social workers see no problems
That on Indian tradition there is this modern influence.
Money begets independence I am told,
To speak against this working tradition I am a fool.
But I want to inquire
Do the both sides’ folks get the same share?
Which folks get the most gifts?
Which folks do the couple’s home the most visit?
No dichotomy you say!?
No more dowry, hooray!?
In this age of consumer protection
The girl doesn’t even realize she is the customer – instead she serves!

- Written on 6 December 2006, Wednesday.

Yes! very cynical, very bombastic, very very one-sided but also I think a shade of truth we so easily overlook all the time that perhaps it is time it was highlighted. I am sick of the feminist jargon that does not look beyond asking that girls be given equal opportunity without looking into halving their already existing burdens they pile on more. I am very angry today as you can judge. Blame the holiday that got me seeing a debate on why women should be educated - always for the family's sake (read their husband's burden is halved with them working!) - why don't girls ask how much of house training have prospective grooms undergone when these girls are "professionally qualified" and "preferably employed" why not ask for boys "domestically trained and home loving" whatever the latter terms mean. ;)
chalo maine toh apni dil ki bhadaas nikal di. ab aap ki baari. ;)

Is it Love or Hate?

2006-11-04T20:24:00.000+05:30

Is it Sunrise or Sunset?

Is it love for power that leads to terrorism?
Or is it hate of a people, of personal poverty, that leads results in mayhem?
Is it love of a nation that leads to military attacks?
Or is it hate of feeling threatened that results in this mad act?

Is it love for one’s community that leads to caste and race politics?
Or is it hate of losing face that causes us from inclusion to desist?
Is it love for one’s God that leads to riots and ravage?
Or is it hate of the strange, the unknown that results in this carnage?

Is it love for knowledge that leads to better ways?
Or is it hate of helplessness that results in constantly striving to update?
Is it love for money that leads lack of principles?
Or is it hate of powerlessness that results in breaking free of such shackles?

Is it love for a male child that leads to killing a girl baby?
Or is it hate of a sense of burden that results in this deed?
Is it love for a daughter that parents don’t tarry?
Or is it hate of ‘societal disapproval’ that results in forcing them to marry?

Is it love for the children that leads parents to pressurize?
Or is it hate of ‘personal failure’ that makes them so much criticize?
Is it love for one’s parents that them one doesn’t abandon?
Or is it hate of feeling the least bit beholden?

Is it love that makes the world go round?
Or is it hate that results in the merry-go-round?
Two sides of the same coin are Love and Hate.
Yet, we never value both the same.

- Written on October 22, 2006 Sunday.

- In response to A Father’s Appeal I guess. Was definitely written right after. I hate this poem though if I can call it a poem.

A Father’s Appeal

2006-10-27T11:06:00.000+05:30

Wrong is Wrong and Right is Right.
If with words you cannot realize
I will show you with might.

Forget Gandhigiri, forget maxims of peace
Of trying to make you see sense lovingly, I am weary.
You must be punished for not following my lead.

What I do, I do for your own good.
You do not realize this now though you should.
To follow your right instincts allow I would,

But, you are still young and know not the world’s ways
So, you must be made to obey.
I cannot allow you any gainsay.

You know I’ve stopped you before.
It wasn’t clipping of wings to stop you soar.
It was only because from life’s pitfalls I didn’t want you sore.

I have only your best interests at heart
To guide you is my loving duty and I am doing my part.
For life’s journey I am gifting you the very best start.

Now no more tears or pleas.
No more lamenting that you want to be free.
At the end of life’s journey, I know you will thank me.

Fine! I give you a choice. How can I deny you?
You must marry the boy I choose
Or else all Hell will break loose.

- Written on 26 October 2006.

- Well read this with a sense of humour guys.
As for why I wrote it i was in a filthy mood. And now I am not. I would never have published this one on this page if not for my friend Dharam. so Dharam on your head be it ;)

Written on Tsunami - The Actual Disaster

2006-10-16T23:58:00.000+05:30

Did you think we had lost faith Lord?
Did you want to test us?
Did you want to prove Lord
That you are watching over us?

What reason can you give Lord for sending that wave?
Why Lord, why would you want to thus devastate?
In the season for rejoice Lord, why did you send this message?
Where do we find solace Lord, in which passage?

We build walls of brick and mortar Lord
You proved you could outdo us.
Now we fear not nuclear weapons Lord,
We fear your power.

Did you send the water Lord, to purify us, to cleanse?
Was this part of a ritual Lord, part of our penance?

You gave us miracles galore Lord,
Lives seemingly lost returned.
But we can’t say a prayer of gratitude Lord
For the sorrow was a hundred times worse.

Nothing seems to compensate Lord,
The deaths of so many.
Nothing seems to equalize Lord,
The loss of faith in your glory.

-Written early January 2005.
Yes I know one more to add to the multitudinous voices. But guys tread carefully in your comments - I like this one :)

State your opinion...

2006-10-16T23:15:00.000+05:30

‘State your opinion (and then be forgotten).
Your parental household’s affair is not your concern.
Of course you care about this family’s welfare
But this household’s concerns are not your share.’

‘State your opinion (and then be forgotten).
You are needed in a place more important.
Of course your work place is your concern
But it is personal life (your family)you must more govern.’

‘State your opinion (and then be forgotten).
This household’ affair is not your concern.
Of course you care about what happens in your husband’s family
But you can’t possibly care for almost strangers selflessly.’

‘State your opinion (and then be forgotten).
You are from an older generation.
Of course you care for your children
But with current times you have no synchronization.’

‘State your opinion (and then be forgotten).
Why do feel this an injustice woman?!
When you have a worthwhile opinion
Don’t worry, the world will (not) listen.’

Written on 16th October 2006.
for God alone knows what reason ;) it sorta wrote itself. Whatever 'it' is .

Thank You for Ur Comments Guys

2006-10-12T20:40:00.000+05:30

Touched am I by the comments of friends
These very trusting and generous creatures.
Even if I don't believe your comments
I love receiving them. ;)
So Thank you guys.
Will try to more write.

Cakey

2006-10-08T22:18:00.000+05:30

Delicious, luscious, loaded with calories
Spongy layers spread thickly with cream
A spoonful of sin will revive your spirits
Life will no longer feel like the pits.
The one form of chocolate I cannot ever deny
Though the pineapple flavour is what I most times like.
The one of many indulgences for which I gladly pay
For the sheer joy of the moment is worth every other gain.
;)
fatso

Written on 8th Oct 2006. Yes one more! :(
Don't ask why folks. I guess I was in the mood to move every reader of mine to tears. - sadist

Schumi

2006-10-08T21:54:00.000+05:30

Another loss,
This time due to engine fault.
The last stage of a scintilating career
Why couldn't Luck favour this racer?

An all time great - he was written off
As a has-been, who can see the podium from only far-off.
He proved to sceptics and admirers,
That the Schumi magic may never retire.

Then at a peak he announced -
This Grand Prix was his swan swong.
Almost everyone with bated breath
Rooted for Schumi to win in Alonso's stead.

For the master had proved himself
And shown that he deserved nothing less.
The first place in the GP
With skill and luck was his assuredly.

But alas! Luck sawed under him
Luck 'see ed' to Alonso's whim.
Why -o -why must this happen?
There are so many other wins ahead for the Italian.

Why cudn't luck bend to Schumi's will
And provide for millions another Schumi thrill?
The glory of Michael Schumacher is not diminished of course
He has too many times dictated on the F1 course.

And yet it is with a pang of could-have-been
That us fans had to see Schumi retire from the scene.
I cannot know what he feels
But I know he is too strong to feel "shoot me."

I know his triumphs are so many
That he will linger on every race-fan's memory
Come what other racers may
Schumi is there in our hearts to stay.

-Written on 8th October 2006 after seeing Schumi having to retire due to engine failure from the Japanese GP.

My Fav Brew

2006-10-08T21:48:00.000+05:30

Limbugaas aur Adharak
Masaaledaar aur Kadak
Chai Se behtar kya hai khansi zukham ke liye
Jahan Dava bhi na asar kare wahan chai apni kamaal dikhaiye.
Chai ke hazaaroin gun mein gaate jaaoin
Chai na ho toh mein khushaal ji na paaoin.

Sadly Inspired by a Gmail Chat with cold suffering Easwar tonite.
Sorry Easwar to add to your woes. ;)

Things are looking up

2006-10-04T09:56:00.000+05:30

Prices go up for commodities
Prices go up for all forms of energy.
Affordable accommodation is a distant, very distant reality.
Pray tell how are things looking up in the Indian economy?

We have had bomb blasts that take immeasurable toll.
Intelligence says ‘Wait, there is more to follow.’
The common man needs ‘Z plus’ security.
Pray tell how are things looking up in this country?

There are jobs now available in plenty.
But only for those who already have opportunities.
There are countless still who despair
That crime is the only way to pay their fare.

The under privileged are only less privileged
Sex is still being gendered.
Fanatics and lightweights hog the newspaper
The common man’s concerns are pushed to a corner.

Yet there is justice in the country.
B’coz verdicts are doled in 2006 for blasts in 1993.
B’coz so many guilty are still let scot-free.
B’coz so many innocents are still found guilty.

Yet things are looking up in this country.
B’coz we have an Oscar level ‘Rang de Basanti.’
B’coz we have newly found Gandhigiri.
B’coz all these events have inspired my poetry.

Written on 4 October, 2006.
For reference read today’s TOI and Hindustan Times if u wish to ;)

A Response to - Can the bowlers grab the kangaroos by the tail?

2006-09-27T20:12:00.000+05:30

Great take on the situation.
I hated what the bowlers gave the opposition.
Pathan ruined his batting performance.
Wish someone wud let him first be a bowler rather than a front line batting defence.
With a batting line up of Dravid and company
We have Raina and Pathan feature in the leading three!!!
Ridiculous I say! Whoever said India is worthy?
Yet, perhaps it is DLF policy that leads to this 'doom doom' prophecy
I can only hope like others
Afterall Indians have got only this field to be 'better'.

This rhyme was written on 15 Sep 2006 in response to the following article by my friend.

Can the bowlers grab the kangaroos by the tail?

-- Deba Prasad Dhar for cricketnext.com

Grace, art and Sachin Tendulkar are all fine but does team India have thewherewithal in bowling to win the DLF Cup?His mien betraying high concern, captain Rahul Dravid did not mince wordsduring Thursday’s post-match conference when he said, “We won’t win too manyif we bowl like that.”As India take on Australia in the third match of the DLF tri-series, Dravidwill address on priority the profligacy of his bowlers. The economy rates ofIrfan Pathan (11), R P Singh (9.75) and Harbhajan Singh (7.50) in the firstmatch must have given him enough cricks in the neck.Indian bowlers, to say the least, looked like pedestrian peashooters. ChrisGayle used his bat as if he was swatting away flies in sleep. Only MunafPatel, of the lot, stood out with his niggardly length.Against West Indies (on Thursday), Pathan clocked 132 kph - a rarity givenhis prolonged slump of form. So much so that one wondered if the speedometerinstalled for the match was prone to typos. But it was refreshing to see himcharging in and gnashing his teeth as if to suggest: “Critics, you wait. Irun in to answer.” But you can only perform within the force and compass ofyour talents. Fact remains that Pathan is proving to be expensive yet again.With Australia pencilling in greenhorn PA Jaques to partner Simon Katich,Munaf might well hurl the new cherry. But don’t rule out the possibility ofMatthew Hayden taking guard first up.Though Ricky Ponting’s men haven’t faced Munaf and R P before, the lattercould get the heave-ho, at least, for the time being. Singh, who seems tohave somewhat lost his bearings in ODIs, might make way for ShanthakumaranSreesanth.The batting takes care of itself though Indians would not undermine theinfluence of Shane Watson who is fast gaining a reputation of makingdecisive inroads in the lower middle order. A question mark ought to prevailover Mohammad Kaif’s position in the order. If he is not going to get anouting when India is 165/3 in 35 overs, then doesn’t it make sense to tryout Dinesh Mongia who, if required, can roll his arm over? It’s a differentequation though if Yuvraj Singh returns to the fray. Virendra Sehwag posedlike a lost Simon as he waited (and waited) for his turn to bat in the firstmatch. Rhythm is central to his batting, so why not have him right up there?No point being rawboned and rigidly “flexible” when he scored a 90 in hislast adventure as opener.With Tendulkar in Divine nick, Ponting without an iota of misgiving willinduct Brett Lee into the side. In batting, PA Jaques, MJ Cosgrove and BJHaddin are just about finding their feet in international cricket. The onuswill be on the captain, Matthew Hayden (if he returns) and MJ Clarke to postthe big scores. Dravid would look to cash in on the inexperience ofAustralia’s middle order. Thus, despite the hard pounding that his bowlerswere subject to against Gayle and Lara’s cavalry, he might be tempted to batfirst if he wins the toss.Yet, even on paper, Australia start overwhelming favourites. India need topull something special out of the hat to get into the points table. We couldbe in for a thriller if Dravid’s frontline bowlers hit the right line. Seeyou Saturday.

Choices

2006-09-23T20:50:00.000+05:30

Why do we think of suicide?
Is it just a sign of cowardice?
Or is it that we finally decide
That nothing could be worse than what we now abide?

But there is something in our core
Which believes in all those childhood lore
And adores the thought of challenging Fate
Shunning the idea of an escape.

‘The known devil is better than the unknown’ -
It is enough to will us to live on.
But how much can the soul take on misery?
How long before it breaks down completely?

‘Shared grief is sorrow divided’ – an advice
But inflicting our self on others – is that really wise?
Each to his own – tears or laughter.
Why add to the woes of another?

Live alone – such a dreary life?
Or die alone after a journey of much strife?
Inflict on another our own unhappiness?
Or add to their sorrow by embracing death?

The choice before us is complex
Should we challenge Fate or let our self rest?

Strong MEEK

2006-09-23T19:54:00.000+05:30

A girl embraced death with a jump
For a reason everyone is stumped.
'She was strong' is the consensus.
Then why did she choose death?

Is it strength to keep mum
When by troubles you are overcome?
Is it strength to silence
Emotions that induce violence?

Is it not violent, girl,
To kill your Self?
Is it not a crime, girl,
To leave your friends so bereft?

In what society do we live
That preaches strength to kill?
You are brave to die; it is a weakness to cry.
This maxim I have to yet learn to defy.

So, but for a moment's play
It could have been me in that girl's place.
It must be true - what I have heard.
The meek WILL inherit the Earth.

(C) Anusha Ramanathan
3 August 2006

- On 2 August 2006 a SNDT TY B.Sc. Nursing Student (a hostelite) was declared dead upon her fall from the 6th floor of the Annex Building.

Technology

2006-09-22T20:13:00.000+05:30

Technology exists
That it may assist
In showing us mere mortals
how much we lack in creating perfect portals

Children are said to teach parents
That perfection is like the horizon.
But hey! even the kids can't reach the levels
Where technology shows us our imperfect selves.

We think we are so smart and yet despair
At the littlest blink from the computer at which we stare
Aah Technology! the man made creation
In teaching ourselves about imperfection
We beat God even
Who said failure is 'only' human. ;))

Transmogrification

2006-09-17T20:24:00.000+05:30

Came across a new word today
And thought of a fellow I know
Rhyme scheme is important he would say
And use words that make one's skull feel hollow.
So I thought of the saying -
IF can't beat him then join in
And thought that I would too, write a rhyme on a word
That only intellectual fools would have registered.
'Transmogrification' means change in layman's terms
Why a simple word is substituted, perhaps Easwar you can again confirm?

;)

In a devilish mooood

2006-09-15T18:02:00.000+05:30

The friend was you as you well know Easwar
Who inspired me to create this blunder.
It is true that my blogs won't make you ponder
If there is any worth - that will be a wonder.

I will not delete until many opine thus
Even then I will await your addition to the chorus.

I am not regular this you know too
But I will attempt to write more I threaten you;)
My comments on your site if they have not torn you asunder
Come yonder and let me make you more suffer ;))

Introduction

2006-09-07T23:52:00.000+05:30

A friend inspired me to create
This site that u may come to hate
B'coz ramblings will all it will ever have
For I am the queen of crap.
But don't worry - if it gets too much
I can delete this blog at the press of a button

;)